how can we fix this? 😞

Question

me and my boyfriend have been together a few years now and we have different love languages. his is physical touch and mine is words of affirmation. he’s constantly touching me which i love but he always complains that i don’t touch him as much therefore “he’s nicer to me” i’ve tried explaining it’s just not my love language and i’ve tried touching him more but it’s still not enough. since mine is words of affirmation i crave getting like good morning texts and i love you texts and just him telling me cute things but that’s not really him either. i just feel like it’s clashing and i don’t know what to do about it.

Answer

Biggest is understanding that just because we receive love in one way doesn't mean others receive it the same way. So his love language is touch, that's how he receives love. That doesn't mean that's how you receive love. So him giving love in the same way he receives it, isn't actually giving you the love you need. Same goes for you. Giving love in the way you receive it, doesn't mean that's how he needs it. You need to meet in the middle. This is how I receive love, these are some ways you can help me get that in a way that I do receive it. And then you work together to make that happen. My husband is huge on touch. I'm very much not. If we have so many connections through the day, his tank is full. This happens in ways we are both comfortable with. Such as like a 20 second hug, a few kisses throughout the day, holding his hand when he's driving in the car. Leaning on him when we sit together on the couch. It doesn't have to be big touches. Just a certain amount of physical contact in a day and he's good to go.

how can we fix this? 😞

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