How can i be feminine?

Hi. This is kind of embarassing but im 36 years old and have no idea how to be feminine. I have lived in jeans and tshirts since i was 18ish. Before that i would wear skirts but stopped because i got self conscious as i got older. I weigh 240lbs and cannot stand to look at myself even when i take a shower. I have an almost 10 month old son who I stay home with. He takes up most of my time and wakes up about 530 every single day. I dont feel attractive or comfortable in my own skin. And i feel like I am disappointing my husband because I dont try to look nice. Skin care items you love? How do i stop my hair from being frizzy? Favorite workouts?