I really am trying not to let it bother me. I want to see outside of my emotions and the flesh, and never take a thing personal, but sometimes I find it really challenging.

My husband was not paid from his job for around two months. The company went bankrupt, so they now owe my husband nothing. Because of this, we had to move interstate into the home of my in-laws home, which has been a world of help for our little family - they have an in-home gym and live in a nice neighbourhood, and they mind my eight month old son periodically through they day, and will be will I work as well, because I have a new job starting in four weeks time (four days a week).

Everything is wonderful here, except, my sister-in-law and mother-in-law constantly bag me out behind my back.. and I know this because, for whichever reason, they do it in the same room I have my sons baby monitor in..

I have had numerous inklings to check and wouldn’t you have it, they’re speaking about me.

I had problems with my mother-in-law during my pregnancy, and I used to confide in my sister-in-law and I feel absolutely so stupid for doing so, because I now know the conversations that really go on.

I’m never invited to lunch dates or to get my nails done or anything, and they think I’m weird because I’m not into designer, expensive homes and items… and I’d rather serve Jesus than this awful world.

I struggled so hard with my pregnancy, labour (ended in a hospital caused emergency c-section), my postpartum care was awful and I constantly have it reiterated how wonderful my sister-in-law’s pregnancy was, how well her daughter feeds and sleeps etc. and on her vulnerable days, I still check in and offer help. I never wish for a person to struggle, especially with a firstborn..

I know the Lord will redeem my next pregnancy and birth, but in the interim, the nastiness exposed to me is just… too much sometimes.

I just want to leave this place, but I know my poor husband has had it so rough, it’s in his best interest we stay.

There is absolutely no room with any other family members on my side, so it’s just not an option, either.

I suppose I’m just looking for a little support. I honestly just want to cry. I feel so uncomfortable in this family..