How Is This?

Question

Had an argument with my partner earlier. I am trying to work on healthier communication, is this apology good enough? I tried not to make it about me. I did feel a way in which he did not let me explain but I decided to leave that out because I don’t want to egg it on but I’m feeling a bit like my feelings are being pushed to the side. How do I express my feelings without starting anything else up? I wanted to bring it up at a different time, not the situation necessarily but something like “I felt a way about something and I felt as if I wasn’t being heard…” etc. I don’t mind criticism on this post either! I’m really open to healthier communication. Also I know that he may not accept my apology right away which is fine with me! I just want to let him know I truly apologize. Anything I should add or take out?

Answer

Your apology and post contradict themselves. Are you really genuinely sorry? What exactly are you apologizing for? This is too much of a half-assed general apology. People want sincerity. What are you apologizing for? Don’t write “I genuinely apologize for earlier.” Make it genuine without using “genuine[ly].”
I always tell myself and friends — if you don’t know what you’re apologizing for, then don’t apologize because it’s not going to help either party. Don’t apologize just to move on from an argument.

Answer

Yea that’s fine

Answer

I think personally I would ask him via txt if he would like to talk to you in person as you feel like an apology over message isn’t enough to express how sorry you are and see what he replies?
I feel like if your struggling to communicate because in general you both have issues with communicating I don’t feel like txting is a great way to communicate for people with this issue I only say this because txt can be misconstrued and the person reading it dictates in there brain how they view the message so basically if they are angry they will not read the message how you intended it to come across if that makes sense?! 
Hopefully you get a chance to apologise in person and tell him how you feel and although it’s not about you or your trying to make it about you, you still felt a way about it all!
It’s ok to feel things, and express yourself and if you forever tip toe around certain people and walk on egg shells because your worried of how they may perceive an apology from yourself, I’m sure an apology however big or elaborate a simple I’m sorry should be enough followed with why your sorry

Answer

The apology itself is fine, I personally would prefer to do it in person if you can. I don't like resolving issues like this over the phone because you can never read the person and see their body language, plus it feels not personal to me, but I might be old schooled.
You should absolutely bring up the issue of not being heard in a calm way. That one needs to be done in person though.

Answer

For context he isn’t a healthy communicator either in my opinion and specifically due to unresolved childhood trauma so he wouldn’t be up for a whole conversation so we could talk everything out.

How Is This?

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