I left my husband Update

This was the post I made recently

My husband's family had really been trying to keep me from leaving and I had already arranged to stay with my brother. I was thinking about taking some time and speaking to my husband but he behaved so disgustingly today. He invited his mom and his brother over to prove to me that he can work this out with his brother and brought his mom as a mediator. I told him I don't think our home is an appropriate place to do this but he just sent the kids to play outside and the whole thing was him and his mom ganging up on his brother asking his brother why he's out to ruin his life and why act like things are fine between them and then go behind his back to tell me about their past. His brother said that when he was in college his mom said he had to make things right with him otherwise it means he doesn't care about them as a family and their mom was trying to defend herself saying she just wanted her family together. I said this is ridiculous and this isn't a mediation, it's an interrogation and his mom was like "See what you're doing to your brother. You're turning his wife against him." I asked her to not talk about me like I'm not here and his brother started crying and saying how nobody cares about how he felt and he has to worry about everyone else's feelings. He said that he doesn't know how felt when his roommates asked to switch dorms because they couldn't deal with his nightmares and because he stunk because he was too scared to take a shower because of how many times my husband raped him in the shower and my husband said "That was a long time ago!" Also side notes my brother in law is kind of smelly and my husband always made fun of him for being smelly but it makes me sick knowing why he has such a hygiene issues. But I told my husband this entire situation proves he's not sorry and my husband said how many times does he have to say it for people to let him move on and his brother said he never got a real apology. His mom made my bil apologize first and then my husband apologized is what he said so my husband said "I'm sorry for hurting you okay. Can I live my life now?" My BIL was crying saying he's not sorry and my husband says to me "See? I can't win with him." In that moment I realized there was no point in arguing with him. He doesn't see it. His mom doesn't see it. I loaded the kids in the car. Gave my bil a ride home and told him to call me if he starts having bad thoughts. I'm crying with my brother. My kids are asking why I left daddy and I honestly don't know how to explain this to them. How could my judge of character be so bad? I was sexually abused as a child and I married a rapist. I think I'm gonna start seeing my old therapist again. But I'm not getting back with him. I can't.

@Bee I had a conversation about if daddy or anybody had ever touched them in certain ways and luckily my kids did say no.

Edit: I know I didn't mention this in the post but when I was asking my husband why he would do this and was he abused or something he said no. That he had just made a dumb mistake when he was a kid and everyone understood it was a dumb choice beside his brother.

Update: My MIL decided to reach out to my family saying that my BIL is manipulating me into ruining my family and told my family my BILs trauma but played it off that it was so long ago and my husband is super remorseful and my bil fake accepted his apology. So now my family knows his trauma but are ALL my bil side and my family supports my decision. My BIL came over to talk and I even recommended the place went through for therapy. He honestly seemed like he had been holding so much in for years and can finally say it. He went into what college was like for him and it made me so sad how he had to stay in a dorm alone because no one wanted to room with him because of nightmares and his smell. My brother and my mom said he always has a family with us. I love my family. My BIL says he thinks he needs therapy before he can take this to court. Good news is in our state if the sexual abuse happened or started as a minor the statute of limitation doesn't start until way later in life because kids typically have a hard time coming to terms with abuse. We are all in this together. I've already contacted a divorce/custody lawyer.

@Audrey if he would have told me before we dated the only thing that would change is I wouldn't have been with. He took that decision for me to make when he hid this from me. I'm not worried about helping him. He's clearly too delusional to accept it anyway. My duty is to protect my children and hopefully help my BIL in the process. I simply can not be with a rapist and that's that. I should have been told so I didn't waste me years with him.