Being strung along for what???

Look, I know that marriage isn’t everything. I know that it isn’t for everyone, and I honestly never thought I’d be in this situation, but I am. Going on 9 years later. I’m 37, and my fiancé is 40, and we’ve been engaged since 2018 and he imitated the proposal!! I’ll never understand why he would lead me to believe for so long that marrying me was a priority. It’s pretty fucking obvious it’s not. It’s always he wants to pay this off or he wants to do it right. Back and forth each year, talking about dares and then putting it off yet again. I guess I’m a fucking idiot because I’m good enough for everything else except being his wife. I already know I’m stupid and put myself in this situation. I’m sick of waiting around for something that’s never gonna happen and I’m sick of being promised year after year it’s going to happen. Rant over.