Just need support

When I was 17 I got pregnant my mom and I literally fought (fist fight) she threw chairs at me and everything to keep a long story short she forced me to get an abortion at 8weeks and 2days I heard my babies heart beat and everything and she still forced me to get it I will be 22 next month and I still suffer from post abortion depression not as bad as I did in my teens but still pretty bad especially since my fiance and I are trying for a baby it will be my 2nd his 1st we've been trying for 7 months now and each month I get sadder when I get a bfn because I couldve had my baby but now I dont because someone forced me to make a decision I didn't want to make what do I do about this depression ? Has anyone else been through something like this what do I do