Do you ever absolutely lose your cool in front of your kids? Either have a big argument with your spouse or get very upset with your kids?

Question

Would love to hear some stories because I’m feeling like a crappy mom right now.

Answer

We're all human. The important part is to say I'm sorry and talk to my kids about how I'll handle myself differently next time.

Answer

I spoke to my therapist about this, and they said it is often an unrealistic expectation to never ‘lose it’ with the kids or argue with a spouse… it’s great that some people can, but what is important is the follow up. Having them see you apologize, explain what happened and how you can do better next time… etc
We all make mistakes and the lesson how to learn from it is also very valuable.

Answer

I have screamed and lost it at my daughter on a few occasions and you feel really bad for it does happen and if you open up to others in your life to talk about it, they will also give you examples of when - but no one is proud to admit it.. We all make mistakes in life and as long as you keep it to a minimum and have a positive relationship most of the time, probably there won't be any lasting effects of how you reacted in the heat of the moment, so try to not beat yourself up too much and just try to learn from it. Same with arguments - I remember the feeling as a child when my parents occasionally got in an argument in front of me and my brother and I'd feel awful about it.. but it was only rarely and although the feeling was bad, I don't think it caused any effects on my relationship with them or my personality. As long as the environment is positive nearly all the time, a few slip ups are the human factor and we can't be perfect all the time.

Answer

I have gotten very frustrated with my son twice before, and both times involved smearing poop all over his walls, floor, body, and toys in under 5 minutes😅🫠 We didn’t always practice gentle parenting though. Now I will walk away and make sure my own emotions are in check before I try and talk through something with him. It’s a learning process, yelling was the only way I was able to be heard when I was young so regulating my emotions now isn’t as easy as I feel it should be.
My husband and I really don’t fight or have heated arguments at all, but when we do have a small argument or disagree on something we never discuss it with the kids present. I will never allow my children to experience what it’s like to hear their parents scream at each other, call each other names, throw things, break things, or storm out of the house and wonder if/when they will come back.

Answer

My husband and I have been together for over a decade and have never fought or hand an arguement. However, I have definately snapped at my kids. We practice gentle parenting and it's freaking hard especially when I grew up in an abusive environment and my husband grew up with the whole, "don't you dare talk back to me or I'll deck you," type of crap. Whenever that happens I always take a deep breath and sit on the floor with my toddlers. Even though they don't understand yet I explain to them that I'm sorry and that I shouldn't have snapped. I name the feeling I am feeling and why I'm feeling that way. Then I model a method of calming down. Sometimes it's deep breaths sometimes it's counting or something else. Then I give hugs and kisses and usually set them up with an independent activity so I can step away for 5 minutes and fully recenter.

Answer

No. I have never allowed my son to see or hear  adult arguments. I haven’t ever lost it with my child and neither has his dads. I grew up in a hostile environment as a child and I refuse to allow my son to do the same. We do gentle/respectful parenting along with attachment parenting. If I am getting frustrated, I tag out and one of my partners take over. I want my child to feel safe and comfortable around me. Losing my cool will do the opposite.

Do you ever absolutely lose your cool in front of your kids? Either have a big argument with your spouse or get very upset with your kids?

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