Struggling

I'm sitting here unable to get asleep over thinking and praying like I do around this time every month. I work out af due today but glow telling me Wednesday. I've tested the past 2 days and got bfn's. I'm trying to stop myself testing until Wednesday if af doesn't come.

We have been ttc for 6 months since getting married and each month I can feel myself getting more and more worked up about it. I know it can take years but getting so impatient. Already sick of everyone asking when r we having kids and pointed out that at 31 nearly 32 I'm getting old.

Every month I'm convinced I have pregnancy symptoms to only get disappointed.

How does everybody else deal with the frustration and heartache.

When would u test?