Help what should I do? LONG POST, Sorry if all over the place

*TRIGGER WARNING* *TALKS OF SEXUAL ABUSE*

So my husband and I have been married for 8 years and together for 11 years. We just celebrated our 8 year anniversary a month ago and 5 days after we came back from our trip he informed me that he had an std (he went to urgent care that Saturday bc he thought he had a uti and got his results that Thursday that it was an STD. So I found out not only has he been cheating with a woman for 5 months basically a relationship (since before May when our baby girl turned 1) but he had just recently slept with her after finding the diagnosis (with a condom after finding out he had it because she claimed she didn’t have it) but the std he had he tried to say he caught it back in the end of Dec of last year because the girl at the time was saying she didn’t have it and at the time I didn’t know nothing about her so he tried to say he got oral sex from another girl. But my doctor said there’s no way he got it in Dec and just started feeling the effects of it in August. It was basically gonorrhea and she was like with a man they feel it up to a week or 2 after being exposed to it. She said the most that most men go without knowing they have it is a month. The woman knows he’s married because upon going through his phone I saw where he would tell her he’s upset about something and she would ask him why is it his wife (me). This is the first time he’s done anything like this and he says it’s because I was turning him down months prior about sex but the truth is I was but it was because I wasn’t and still don’t feel sexy or beautiful at the time he wasn’t worried why I was turning him down he was just upset that I was turning him down because he never questioned it he just got mad about it. I just had our daughter a yr ago and I feel like I am still going through PPD. So my question is should we get counseling or do I throw in the towel? I love him very much and understand that I have a hand to play in it as well by not giving him what he needs as a husband (basically sex) but this woman has fell in love with my husband and she’s saying she know it has to end because he’s told her he’s not leaving me for her. From what I know they’ve stopped communication but I feel like bc she’s gotten this connection with him the first moment I can’t do anything with him it will always be in the back of my mind will he go to her?! So I’m just trying to figure will counseling be best for us or no. Also if it helps I have some childhood trauma (molestation) that happened that I never got help from so that kind of resulted in a lot of turn downs as well because some things that he wanted me to do sexually I wasn’t comfortable with like oral sex because that was part of what I was forced to do as a child