I’m about to lose it 😣

I’ve never felt so stressed before. My body is stiff from the head down to my feet from it. I’m getting woken up in the night and woken up before the sun is up by my 5 year old. Her meltdowns lately have been intense and a lot. She is like a ticking time bomb. I’ve tried every single approach and even talked to her pediatrician about it. Nothing I do or don’t do helps her. I feel terrible that she’s feeling such big emotions to the point of meltdowns. But they’re also effecting me now. I’m constantly on the edge of my seat because her tantrums are big and loud. My anxiety and stress is so bad I’ve had a few panic attacks this month alone. There is only so much I can take before I have my own meltdown. I’m trying so hard to be there for her and help navigate her thru these big emotions but nobody is there for me either. My husband is gone at work all day, everyday. I’m in charge of everything from cleaning, organizing, cooking, giving the kids a bath, making lunches and dinners. I have no support and I’m feeling the weight of it all everyday. I feel defeated and like I’ve failed somehow?

I love my baby girl more than anything just like her brother. I just need one day of peace and every time I think I might have a day like that, things go wrong and the tantrums begin and last most the day. They happen over little things, like her toys not doing what she wants them to do, or just anything not going her way. Please if anyone has gone thru something similar to this, let me know and give me your tips/advice. I’m trying my best and feels like nothing is ever enough😩💔 I just want her to be happy and our home to be peaceful.