Holidays with toxic in laws

Holidays are upon us. Do you go to your MIL’s Thanksgiving dinner if it’s the only time they ask for you or your child to come (while only living 15 min away) and only seem to do it as a show for the rest of the family?

Honestly my mil usually cancels dinner or flat out says they’re not having one ever since my son was born 5 years ago, all except one year. This year she wants to do dinner at the same time my mom is (if it actually follows through and she doesn’t cancel). The only time we are ever invited is for a holiday or birthday, if that, where other family will be there. I don’t want to spend my day trying to put on a “big happy family”show for them when we can spend it with my family who actually makes an effort to be in our life. But my husband is in denial about it and doesn’t see it that way so he wants us to go.

We’ll end up going because I’ll feel too guilty to tell him no and don’t want the drama if we don’t. But it’s so irritating. I love the holidays but can’t enjoy them