please help

so long story short i have 2 bodies the first one was the guy who took my virginity, that hurt he was very inconsiderate, but once i started to feel it i went numb after like 30 seconds . left him for other reasons now im with my boyfriend we’ve been together for 1 and 3 months now and it’s like i don’t even really have an orgasm when we have sex he always gets his , and as we’re doing the do i can feel it SOMETIMES like he’s small but when it’s hard it’s thick so he’s hit my spots a couple of times but it’s not consistent i’ve communicated this with him we don’t get much privacy so once we do it’s also very quick so i just want to know would i be crazy to stay w him and im not really satisfied w the sex ? i’m more of a asexual i really love the fact that we’re doing it but don’t care if i get off cause i can get off myself . i really like him and love him and don’t want to throw him away over sex . just my luck i leave him for a guy who gives great sex but cheats and leaves me heartbroken 😂am i crazy or what else can i do ? i do see that i need hip elevation like i need a pillow under me to do missionary to hit my spot