Overwhelmed

I just feel burned out and overwhelmed. I’m a stay at home mom to a 15 month old and you’d think it would be super easy. At least I feel like it should be. I’m getting over being sick and I just feel so drained by everything, I have to trail around and clean up after my husband when he’s with our son so even though I get a ‘break’ from childcare I’m cleaning and cooking 100% of the time. I’ve asked him SO many times to just clean up behind himself and our son so that I don’t have to do a huge cleaning after he goes to bed. It’s literally not that hard, I do it all day. For example we bought our son a new toy today and when we got home he opened it and left the packaging a over the floor and table. Doesn’t seem like a big deal but why not just throw it out right away? This stuff adds up until my house looks like a bomb went off and after I get done cooking dinner and doing all of the dishes and preparing food for the next day I then have an entire house of garbage and toys to clean. Clearly telling my husband to clean as he goes doesn’t work.

Then I was supposed to host thanksgiving for both of our families, 14 people, but his side just backed out bc his mom is sick and his grandma is injured bc she fell. My husband was sick over the weekend and we told his parents not to come over but they still did for a few minute, so I guess that’s where my MIL got sick. But also who knows. So it’s no one’s fault really but now I have food for 14 people but only 6 are coming. I can’t not make the food bc it would go bad, and I’m leaving for vacation after the holiday so I can’t use many leftovers. I spent so much $ on the best lamb and turkey and decorations and we even bought a new dining table to fit everyone and I’m just disappointed and annoyed that it isn’t working out. This happens almost every time his family is involved because they are always sick it seems and they also take care of older grandparents so they often have to cancel bc of stuff that comes up with them. I understand they’re overextended and probably even more frustrated than I am and I feel bad for complaining. Sometimes I wonder if I should just stop trying to coordinate and host stuff for them because it works out about half of the time.

I do not get along with my extended family and the only reason I invited them was because I was also having my husbands family and wanted it to be fair since this is the first year I’m hosting a holiday in our new house. The thought of being alone with my parents sends my stomach upside down. And they’re telling me now I should invite my aunt and uncle because they usually have them at their house and now that my in laws aren’t coming, they want me to invite them. I think it’s super tacky to invite someone to thanksgiving 2 days ahead of it and my uncle straight up doesn’t like me despite how much I tried, I support his charity, buy stuff he sells from his home business, etc. So now I have to decide what to do about that.

They’re also supposed to go on vacation with us and we leave Monday but they’re not telling us if they can come or not anymore bc my husbands grandma fell and broke her ribs and has a partially collapsed lung and she refuses to go to the hospital so they don’t know what’s going to happen. She was in a concentration camp very young and truly believes doctors in hospitals are trying to kill her.

It’s just so insane and I know I have it the easiest of anyone but it’s overwhelming. I just needed to vent.