Loosing myself after marriage

I’m engaged to a wonder guy l man, we are getting married in six months. He’s my best friend! I have always wanted babies, he has also, and we can’t wait to start a family someday. Currently I am a cardiac nurse. I have loved what I do and honestly my work makes me feel like I am worth something, when I’m not benefiting or helping people in some way, I get depressed and I feel worthless. When I’m not making my own money, I feel worthless. I honestly am not a vain person or materialistic either, but I just like knowing I can rely on myself I suppose.

Lately I have found that things are changing since being in a serious relationship. My needs are now our needs. We buy food together, we buy things for our house together because we plan to live together forever. We plan our future together. All these things are wonderful, and I have found because we share expenses, I don’t “need” to work as much. I have been working less, but I am still busy because in my spare time now, I am helping my fiancé with things, I am wedding planning, I am helping my fiancé with his family and their issues as well, I am cooking, cleaning, meal planning and packing.

My fiancé and I have both agreed when we are ready to have babies, I will either work very part time, or a work from home position.

I don’t disagree with any of these things, in fact this has been my dream, to be able to be the best wife and mom I can be. But knowing myself, and knowing I feel depressed and I love being able to be independent and provide for myself, I am so worried that I will find myself depressed. I already feel it starting. Whenever my fiancé and I do have a fight, I get this feeling like I am changing and giving up so much and look how the relationship is going?? Then I get sad, because it’s like the one thing I put the most effort into my life isn’t working. My fiancé and I don’t fight a lot and we always make up and learn from it. But being in the midst of a fight, I can’t lie and say I have never had those feelings. I know right now I am only engaged and this will be like 100% harder when we have children.

So my question is, how is a wife and mom suppose to keep who she is, her personality, and still be a wonderful wife and mom? Yet still be fully devoted to her family? But also still staying true to herself and her needs and to feel fulfilled as a person? Is it possible? I know it’s not happening now, but I’m fairly certain when I have small babies one day, I will likely be facing a lot of depression, and I know it’s silly to say that when being a mom has been one of my dreams as well.