I need to get this off my chest..

We are late 20’s. My boyfriend and I have a great relationship. We live together, he treats me better than anyone else in my life as ever treated me and best of all, he treats my son like his own and with tons of love. We love each other very much. BUT.. there’s no sex. Maybe once a month but that only because we want to have a baby. I have high anxiety so I constantly need to remind myself of the reasons we don’t have sex (he has a slew of health problems and a past of abuse including sexual.. so he’s very rarely in the mood if at all. We have talked several times about his feelings and my feelings about everything and I completely understand his reasoning but I get really emotional sometimes and get in my own head things that aren’t true about myself because we don’t have sex and I really want to. He doesn’t do any foreplay either and I’d be happy with just that too once in a while but it’s null and void until baby making season and then we both get very anxious if he will even get it up or keep it up. It just doesn’t work and it hurts both of us in many ways and sometimes I feel like we will never have a baby because of these issues. Like I said we have a very good, healthy relationship, there’s just no sex and I can’t stop thinking about it.

He doesn’t have health insurance yet so he can’t get into a doctor and we are in the process of changing lots of legal stuff because he moved state so that’s why there’s no insurance but I figured I’d throw that in so no one says to go to the dr and have things checked out. We want to, we just can’t get. Thanks for reading.