3 months after my abortion, my heart aches more every day

It’s been 3 months since my abortion and my heart aches more as time passes. It was a very much wanted pregnancy but had to be terminated due to medical issues. Every day I wish things could be different and that my body wouldn’t fail me because my baby could’ve still been here. It seems as time passes the ache in my heart just gets deeper and deeper. How I wish things were different. My dreams of having a family are crushed, I won’t be TTC anymore after this traumatizing experience.