Exhausted already

I have a chronic pain condition and autoimmune that affects my heart and one that affects my nervous system. Technically I'm considered handicapped. I'm no longer in a wheelchair for years or walkers but doesn't mean my life isn't difficult. I'm a stay at home mom with three boys my newest addition is two months old. breastfeeding means I can't be on medication. Newborn also means I'm sleep deprived. My husband works overtime to take care of us all and I take care of the home and kids. Holidays have me exhausted. I mean I am trying to create so much joy for my kids I am barely able to move today from the pain. What I haven't told anyone was I now have a breast lump. It's two years old. Scans were not good and now I need it removed. I have genetically over 30% chance of breast cancer and ovarian I've met with a genetics counselor previously so my odds are not good prior to the lump. I didn't want to ruin anyone's Christmas by scaring them about my health. I am now so frail today from my other health issues it's wearing me down that I don't want to deal with one more damn thing. I'm scared it is cancer and I'm scared of another surgery and needing help with my children. I'm scared of the cost and burden on my husband. I know I need to tell my family about the surgery but when you've had to bury loved ones too young who lost the breast cancer fight it is not something I want to even acknowledge. I just needed a vent a prayer and to lay down by fears before talking to people in my real life.