Financial infidelity/crypto

My marriage is very traditional and after over a decade together built on so much trust. I have been a stay at home mom and wife the entirety of our marriage and worked part time. My husband handled all the financial issues and honestly I trusted him completely.

We hit a situation where we could have taken out a second mortgage on our home due to structural issues or deplete our savings. Our savings came from inheritance from my side of the family. We choose to handle the home emergency without a second mortgage and without leans on our home. Knowing money was going to be hard.

Around the same time my husband was really getting into crypto and we had a few conversations if he could play around with a couple hundred here or there. Our financial situation got worse when I had another baby. We we in debt every month and I couldn't figure out a budget. My husband didn't want me to put him on one and we were not making ends meet. He wanted me to work more but not have child care costs. I was getting burnt out and he was taking my paychecks but we didn't ever have money.

I found out he didn't just take out agreed amount of money but a few thousand dollars. Each time I had been trying to put money into savings he would empty it into crypto. He was hiding the money on me.

I was told we couldn't access the money. Yet the money was my working and my inheritance. My husband has been always so trustworthy and I saw a shift of I wasn't being allowed to have a say on my financial choices. I was embarrassed of how we were not making ends meet but he was playing with crypto like we didn't have money to lose.

Now we are a few years later. I'm getting more control of our lives. He's on a budget. I don't work anymore outside the home but my heads not in the sand. I have access to everything from savings, 401k, Roth, crypto, money market accounts. I'm in a situation that we are on equal footing. I see a future with us. That being said I'm realizing how much animosity I'm holding for the year my husband took money from our family and hid it. I feel like that was a trust that completely I never rebuilt. He keeps saying he's looking out for our future and that he's always steered us in the right direction but to me that was scary. He completely stole of us and hid it and didn't tell me. If I hadn't been asking so many questions and adding up expenses and income I don't know if he would have ever told me and that is scary.

Crypto is such a new thing for me and my understanding is so low and I feel like that makes it even harder to wrap my head around. Has anyone been in this situation? Did the fear go away around money eventually again and did you build trust back?

I did get us out of the mess by working and staying home with the kids. He did too by switching jobs and working overtime about twenty hours extra a week. Also it did pay off infact we have so much money in crypto we could buy another vehicle if we wanted but we don't need one so we are keeping the crypto and hopefully will have enough to pay off our home before our kids graduate. I don't disagree he gambled but it is paying off.