What would you do if you were told that you were bad for doing something simple, like feeling joy where there is normally no joy to be felt?

I mean after being abused by people who only do it for show, would you think something else is being played? Maybe a cheating scandal between the person abusing you and someone else? Or something worse? I mean I’m getting over death. Some people in my life who were meant to be alive, but were taken by something else.

When I told people that I missed these people they didn’t care, I got no recognition for how I felt, so the things I do to feel better and forget about it aren’t even allowed. People say I’m boring for feeling joy, or boring for not feeling the way they want me to feel. I guess I’m grieving? But being abused for showful purposes is not ok.

What would you do if people were taking out their scandals or hate onto you where it’s not necessary?