Unintentional Touch Me Not?

When I first started dealing with sexual feelings, instead of trying to touch myself I would watch porn. Somehow I managed to train my brain to be able to finish just by watching porn and never touching myself. When I was with men it was no big deal but now that I'm with my wife, even though she makes me feel incredible, I still can't orgasm except by watching something and not touching myself. I've been close a few times and my wife gets me to the point where it's almost torture it feels so good but I can't get over the edge. What do I do ?