Husbands new friends is influencing him to treat me badly

My husband and I have been married for 10 years and have 4 kids under 9 (a singleton and then spontaneous triplets.) We have always had a great marriage! Ups and downs like most couples but for the most part we’ve been solid. We live in a nice neighborhood and do lots of stuff as a family, at least we used to. We live on the other side of the country from our families so we are all we have. We moved away for his job. My husband recently changed jobs. He’s making great money in his new position and he’s told me he loves his new job. I’m a SAHM by his request because two of our triplets need daily therapy. Right before he left his last job for this new opportunity he met a guy that he became friends with. They’ve hung out a few times (that I know of) and our daughters had a play date! He’s also married for 10 years. His wife is so sweet. I thought it was great that my husband had a new friend but he quickly changed about two months into his friendship with this guy. My husband works 12 hour days so I’m solo 6 days a week with our kids. Exhausting but I’m supporting my husband in expanding his career. He tells me he doesn’t have any time to talk to me during the day cause he’s so busy. No calls, no quick lunches together. Nothing. I thought the change in him was because we weren’t together a lot and because of that we were becoming a bit distant. We never have dates, he sleeps almost the whole time he’s home. He left his iPad at home earlier this week when he went to work and left it open on a text message conversation with his new friend. When I read it I was disgusted with what I saw. His friend was telling my husband how much he hates his wife, that she no longer excites him and that he’s been talking to his ex and his life is exciting again. My husband commented that that happens in marriage because women don’t want you to find joy outside the house?! I also saw that he’s been meeting this guy three or four times a week 30 mins away for lunch. But can’t take my phone calls.

Or see his kids. On Sunday we got a new couch. When we got back from picking it up, and after I was done putting the kids to bed, my husband told me that I needed to take the old couch out of the house myself and that he wasn’t helping me. He said he loaded the new couch into the truck without my help (because 5 huge guys literally helped him load it. I watched them do the majority of the work.) Because of this I stayed in the car with our kids. He said because of this he wasn’t helping me and he’s sick of having to drag me through life like a ball and chain and me constantly needing him to help me with things? I’m 5”0 and 110lbs. The dumpster is down a big set of stairs and he told me I needed to figure it out. I literally started crying not understanding why he was being so mean out of the blue. I asked one more time if he would please help me and he said no. I told him I would ask our next door neighbor to help me and my husband told me if I didn’t take it on my own he was taking our new couch and throwing it in the dumpster. I was literally stunned by this reaction. He told me I was a manipulator and this is a perfect example of me manipulating him?! I apparently do this constantly and he’s sick of it. So like an idiot I took the whole couch apart and took it out and down the stair by myself he watched me struggle and don’t offer to help once. It took over an hour. He then built the new couch in silence. Once he was done he again told me I constantly manipulate him and he’s sick of it and went to bed. This was on Sunday. He hasn’t talked to me since. Today is Friday. He has talked and interacted with the kids but acts like I don’t exist. Total silent treatment. I have no idea what is happening. So today I go on our phone account and saw he’s been talking to his new guy friend for 4 hours a day at work. My husband is obviously talking to this man about me behind my back (not the first time this has been an issue in our relationship) and the new friend is telling him these new buzzwords that my husband is running with. Clearly they are hating on their wives together and they have decided we’re giant problems on their lives. I have no idea how to handle it. He doesn’t even mention this friend at all. Ever. Not since the play date like 6 months ago. What do you think I should do? I keep breaking down in tears when my kids go to bed. I’m so stunned by the rapid change. He’s also going on a last minute business trip out of state next week for an entire week and I’m now suspicious about the motive. I’m not getting a gay lover vibe from this but I’m literally floored about what he occurred out of nowhere. Advice would be amazing .