Looking for advice urgently

I need advice like crazy before I die in depression. I’m 5 weeks pregnant I was on birth control got off because every method made me bleed more then usual I have pcos so I was mostly just using the pull out method and I was also on the pill to not have a period so I was confident I wasn’t going to get pregnant. So what would you ladies do if you got pregnant this way also I will be super high risk as I have to inject lovenox and progesterone due to having blood clots and I also get cholestasis of pregnancy witch causes it to be more high risk. The depression of thinking of abortion is killing me I have 4 other kids and I’m just devastated on what to do because I can’t afford something happening to me and they need me. What would you do? Also the dad is suggesting abortion and even tho that thought hurts and I don’t want too I think it’s the best, but I also think I wouldn’t want him in my life he keeps telling me to think about all the problems and that he’ll be 60 when the baby is in 1st grade he didn’t think about it when we had sex (he’s 48) (im 26) he also said he can’t afford this right now and that we should do something before is too late even tho he’s right it hurts and mentally I don’t think I’d want him around after for suggesting it. He’s the one that got me thinking everything even tho he’s right it hurts. Please tell me what you would do with the pregnancy and your man?I’m at lost idk what to do please help give your best opinion.