My husband (50) approached me at 19 and we hit it off ever since. Now that I think about it. What did he see in a 19 year old. Anyways, I have always been there financially and emotionally for my husband since 19 but at 23 I was emotionally exhausted and physically. He always told me I need a better job just incase I have to support him. He was an immigrant and now we just filed the papers now, it's going to be 1 year until he got his papers. We filed our taxes together and he took the money for himself and gave me 500$ because he needed it more. Which was 5k...I worked 3 jobs for that tax return money and went to school. He always complain on being broke but have money for booze. Don't get me wrong he is a great guy when he wants to be but he's a Narcissistic prick and it took me 3 years to realize that. At 19-21 I paid his car when he couldn't pay it we weren't married at the time and he was stressing about the payments (It got repo) and I always gave him massages and brung his booze. I paid his rent (He got evicted and I lost 3 grand and got cursed out by his landlord.) when he was in pickle and for 6 months when he got evicted he lived with my parents and I rent free and managed to get another car. His license was expired now, he had a limited visa. Now it was time to move on to the marriage process because he was in danger of being deported. I gave my all in this shitshow marriage I didn't even get a ring or a wedding dress, he suggested we eloped and have a wedding with two witnessed friends in somebody's front yard because it was urgent. I realized I didn't deserved that humiliation. When I bring it up he said I sound like a bitch. At 23, I moved in with him for a short time. He got a dog after my car died even though I wanted another cat. He said he needs an emotional support dog because he is also stressed and anxious. I have generalized and anxiety worse than him that I was prescribed and my cat was my emotional support animal. He said we can share the dog but I'm not a dog person. I was in tears and shambles after that. When I told him he was a narcissist he told me "Would a narcissist pay your phone? Or made you pay rent?" He said it with such fury and manipulation. That I just shut up and silently resigned forgetting I did more for him than he did for me. When I asked for a couple of hundreds because I was short on something he complains and sigh like it's an inconvenience but I never did that to him with his 800$ rent payments, when I helped him move out, when I paid for his 450$ a month car payments yet his car still got repo 2 years ago and he got evicted. Mind you I was working 11.50$ an hour at the time period as a college student paying tuition and credit cards. His excuse was "I'm an immigrant I have nothing." We haven't been intimate in 3 years out of 4 of this wayward marriage. I felt undesirable and felt like I did something wrong yet he told me it's "Just stress." I'm 24, pretty face and shaped like an hourglass men on the street would die for me on the street or always asked for my number. Another reason for his excuses "My mom is dying from dementia and I need to see her one last time." Yes he is a mama's boy and I never noticed until a year ago. His mother had a recent head injury last year and is decreasing cognitively. I understand I would want to see my mother too. But he used it everytime I told him I wasn't happy with this marriage. "I have no driver license anymore, my mom is dying, the papers are still processing, I have to go to court because I've been driving on a expired license. I promise when I get my papers we would have money to buy whatever you want but for now you also need to save money just incase I have none because you are my wife." I felt empty everytime he used those excuses over and over again when I told him something bad that happened to me. He always try to one up me in my depression. It got so bad he threaten to kill himself if I divorced him. Then he called back sobbing he would do anything for me. When I asked him what I want he says "Okay, done." Never follow through with that promise. I made him pay for his process because I have to go to school still. He said "If you love me you would stop school because you are young and you can always go back. You should pay for the process." I didn't budge because he once said "I will help you pay for school, baby" he never did. I paid everything myself. He paid for the process and said I paid for everything and I'm ungrateful but he forgot what I did for him early on and he said "I know and I will never forget that." Today, I called him early at 5 am to tell him how I felt. I told him at my age you were partying and single, you traveled and I'm 24 and only left the country once as a child. He asked me what I could have done better? What could have been different from now. I told him I could have been free of marriage duties and free of financial obligations. I could have had a better spouse or boyfriend who loved and pampered me. I had doctors, engineer's, lawyers wanting to marry me, wants me to have their children and I was foolishly chose a musician. He hung up midsentence with the words "Okay, thank you." I tried calling him back to apologize but something told me to stand up and stand your ground because he always said everyone is going to thing I'm the bad guy because of how we are living. Mind you my friend said "This isn't a marriage this is a unhappy relationship. You are not even a wife he calls you to help him clean his apartment then just for him to take off to work and clean the mess he made and you make excuse after excuse for him just for you to pick up the dog shit (literally) off the apartment floor.". Alot of people says he is rude and inconsiderate and his ego is high because he is an Infamous local-musician. I tried defending him but it can't change people's minds and I had to apologize for his behaviors alot before.

He made me dog sit on the weekend of my birthday and claimed its an emergency and when I complained he said "You don't deserve the blessing of our dog." And laughed in my face when I said "I was depressed" and he said "Me too" then he starts up with the excuse that being an immigrant is dangerous and unfair and I have my parents here and he don't the same excuse every single time. I just grew more depressed with him. Its so bad a friend who is a software engineer who was in love with me for.the longest told me "A man his age shouldnt be relying on his wife like this. You should have never worried about bills. You should have been pampered. You should have had a ring, you don't even have a ring. You are not offical married to this prick. On papers yes but what is the symbol of your love? You just made a mistake and that prick is manipulating you to be with him. You should have been treated like a queen because of him not being called "Lazy".you work 3 days 12 hours in a dangerous environent caring for people's wellbeing and he says your job is easy and all he do is sing and play guitar?" My friend had been by my side and he always said he will wait for the day I divocrce because a sweet girl like me didn't deserved all this and my husband lost me to him. Am I wrong for telling my husband how I felt?