Healing from Emotional Abuse

How did you ladies heal after an emotionally abusive relationship? It's been over a year since mine ended and I feel like I'm still dealing with the trauma. Now that I'm in a relationship (with the most amazing man ever) I feel like my issues are sometimes magnified... Or I just notice a lot of protective measures I take. My ex always told me I was too sensitive, that he hated my makeup, that I was insecure. After kicking me out he showed up at my place threatening to commit suicide, my brother had just committed suicide 3 months prior and this showed me just how manipulative my ex had always been and still is. This resulted in me feeling very ashamed of crying in front of people and hiding my emotions because I don't want them used against me, he knew how much I was suffering after my brothers death. I never cry in front of my boyfriend, sometimes I get distant and ignore him or don't tell him how I feel because I'm truly scared of being rejected or told that I'm "too deep" or whatever. I love him so much and I just want to give him my all. I've tried meditating which helps and it seems the further along we get and the more trust that is built, things get a little easier but in the back of my mind I'm always scared the rug will get pulled from under me and he will eventually treat me the same. He gives me no reason to suspect that he would do that. How do heal and become whole again?