My boyfriend won’t have sex with me anymore.

My boyfriend (36M) won’t have sex with me anymore and I don’t know what to do. We’ve been together 3 years now. At first it wasn’t like this, there were no problems at all. He wanted to have sex every day, sometimes twice a day.

Year two was different. Things slacked off and then Last year I found a video he took of himself with a dildo.. I asked him about it but he just said he didn’t know what I was talking About. So at the time I didn’t press the issue. During this time though sex was hardly ever and I always had to ask for it. He wouldn’t touch me, I was practically begging him for it. I talked to him about my needs and expectations, and told him that I would leave if we couldn’t fix it. He worked on it, things got better between us, we were having sex al the time it seemed. So much that we ended up getting pregnant. However, during my pregnancy it went back to how it was before. We had sex a total of 7 times ( all after he had been drinking all evening) and they were different. He always asked me to touch his butthole. Which like, no judgement! If that’s what he likes and It gets him going I’m down but it honestly seems like that was all he wanted, not me. I had a talk with him about why he never wanted to have sex with me or be intimate and he told me it was weird for him while I was pregnant and he was scared of hurting me or the baby. He never wanted to touch my stomach or anything. So, I listened and even though I didn’t understand I said ok and I let it go.

Fast forward to now.. I’m 3 month PP and he still won’t touch me. He won’t even initiate anything. We tried once when I was 8 weeks pp and he didn’t even stay hard. It lasted a whole 5 min and he never finished. I asked him if he is still attracted to me, he says yes and that’s not the issue. It’s really affecting my self esteem though, which I’ve expressed to him. He told me it’s not me and that this just happens to him and always has even in previous relationships.

Idk what to do. I love him, but I’ve expressed my needs and wants numerous times. Anytime I try to bring it up, it ends up turning into an argument. He tells me that “there’s nothing wrong and I’m overthinking everything creating problems when there aren’t any” basically gaslights me and reiterates that he’s happy with me and there’s not a problem. Yet, my needs are still not being met. I feel like we are just roommates. So clearly there is a problem. I’ve told myself I’ll give him a year and if things don’t change, I’m going to end it and move on from this relationship. Obviously we have a baby so I don’t want to walk away. But sex is important to me and I’ve expressed that repeatedly. At this point, I realize it’s just not important to him, or at least my needs aren’t.

Is this something anyone else has experienced? I don’t think he’s gay.. but is there something there that I’m missing? Is he just bored with me? Idk if I’m here looking for validation but I honestly don’t know what else to do.