So to make a long story short, my MIL asked me how my sister is doing because she knows my sister and my BIL are getting divorced. I told her I wasn’t sure because I hadn’t spoken to her since she told me they were splitting up and I’m not really close with my sister like that so I didn’t ask her personal questions about their decision but she went on to ask me if my sister was keeping the kids or if my BIL was to which again I said I didn’t know — I assume my sister would take them, statistically speaking, that’s usually how it goes added to the fact that my BIL is in the military and I don’t know how often he’s home to look after his girls. So then she asked me if I would fight for custody of my kids. And I didn’t really know how she was asking me that question, like as myself, the mother of the kids I literally carried and birthed? Or if I were my BIL? So I just said well yeah? And she was like well after what happened with Gabe (my fiancés oldest son from a previous relationship) I’ll never go through that again, just know I’ll take you to court. To preface she has made this kind of comment before to me — when my first born was an infant she told me if I ever left her son she’d take me to court and asked me if I knew she has grandparent rights. I did in fact look it up and she’s not 100% wrong, but there’s a lot that would go in to her actually being granted any kind of legitimate custody of my kids. So I’ve brushed off her making this same remark numerous times since then. But today…idk she just caught me on a weird day and I turned to her and was like well you don’t actually have grandparent rights in this state the way you think you do, just so you know. And she was like my girl friend is raising her grandson so you’re wrong. To which I replied, right under what circumstances…she’s raising her grandson so she likely had to prove her own daughter was an unfit parent, a judge isn’t going to just rip kids away from their mother without good reason. And she was like yeah she has a bunch of shit stacked against her. To which I just ignored because like…wtf?

First of all, why are even telling me you’d take me to court for MY kids in the first place? And secondly, what exactly are you implying? I think my fiancé told her that him and I had a conversation recently about me being unhappy and potentially wanting out of the relationship and she passive aggressively brought this conversation up casually to either scare me into staying with her son or idk just to be a bitch.

I’ve had my fair share of issues with her in the past. She’s great to my kids don’t get me wrong. But she’s always been SO nasty to me. And I really don’t understand why. I mean ffs I got her grown ass son moved out of her house, helped him resolve his suspensions, helped him get his license back, got him out of $50,000 of debt, and gave him two beautiful kids…that he actually has a relationship with. And I’ve stuck by his side when so many women wouldn’t have even given him the time of day.

She knows that my mom gave me up when I was a toddler so she knows I didn’t have a mother figure and therefore am fumbling through motherhood myself and yet she’s always making snide comments and giving unsolicited advice about my parenting. She knows my dad is a raging alcoholic and we don’t talk and yet she asks me EVERY DAY if my dad has seen the kids and then talks shit about him to me. She makes comments about my weight. She makes comments about my house. Idk if I’m just being overly sensitive or what but it feels like she either tries to get a rise out of me or she says shit to hurt my feelings and watch for my reaction. And I say this because one time I finally stood up to her after a few years of her AND her daughter bullying me and my babysitter and I said something along the lines of sticking up for myself and she was like yeah about time…like she’d been intentionally pushing me to my breaking point.

And it’s extremely upsetting to me because her daughter’s son, her daughter, and my fiancé treat her like shit. I mean I can see why. But still. While she is absolutely a bitch she does a lot for my fiancé and I so I go above and behind to be respectful to her and say please and thank you and tell her I appreciate everything she does. Because I do. I really do even though she’s so fucking rude to me. And it just feels like such a slap in the fucking face.

And my fiancé told me that she criticized my sons haircut in front of him (he’s 5) and tonight as my fiancé was putting him to bed and son asked him “daddy do you like my haircut?” Ugh just makes me so fucking mad. And it’s not the first time for that either. When he was 2 we gave him a Mohawk and I sent her a video of him saying “hi grandma” and she called me and bitched me out and was like who gave him that haircut? I hate it blah blah blah and then my babysitter told me she when she picked my son up from her she turned to him and asked if he wanted her to cut the rest off…so when I say she’s good to my kids, she is - she buys them toys and clothes and watches them for a few hours for my fiancé and I every day while we have a overlap in our work schedules but she says shit like that to and in front of my kids.

And I’ve already tried confronting her before and we ended up having a yelling match. So idk what to do? Do I just leave it? Do I say something?