Not able to get excited or be happy :(

Im 25 weeks and I haven’t been able to get excited about this pregnancy( second pregnancy.) I’ve been having trouble since I first found out. I felt depressed the whole first trimester. I couldn’t get out of bed, I couldn’t stop crying, and I barely could take care of my 2 year old. I was having a lot of trouble. I started feeling better in the middle of my second trimester but I’m starting to get the blues again. Although I felt better for a little I still wasn’t happy or excited about this pregnancy. Finding out the gender didn’t help, I thought it would’ve. I feel so guilty for not being able to be happy about it. I feel like it’s also due to how much this pregnancy has changed my body and i completely hate how I look, I’m so insecure. I loved the way I looked my first pregnancy, this time around i gained so much weight and am getting stretch marks( which I didn’t get the first time). My husband is trying his hardest to help me but I have a feeling I have pregnancy rage on top of everything. I easily get irritated, mad, and annoyed! Especially with him and kids! I’ve been looking for a therapist but it hasn’t been easy. I’m just hoping that everything changes once the baby is here. I’m terrified that I’m going to get PPD. I’m worried for my relationship and my 2 year old. I’m so mad at myself for not being happy, I feel so angry about being pregnant. Any advice?