What would you do?

Question

my boyfriend and I have been together since January, so not long at all and we’re both in our middle to late twenties. He has expressed to me that he finds it hard to please women sexually and that its a lot of pressure, which I can see why he would think that. Iv told him the things id like him to do, which really is just foreplay. I asked for more foreplay because typically its just straight to sex. Iv expressed to him that I would like him to touch me more and do oral on me because those are things that I need. He tells me that half the time he doesnt even feel like having sex, his stomach hurts (IBS - which i totally get), not enough energy, he feels like he is too out of shape to truly give me what I need ( hes 5’6 and 160 lbs) and I cant help but feel pure rage when he tells me all those things because I can’t sit next to him without wanting it, I want him to touch me all the time, I want to touch him all the time, I want to have a good sex life and feel heard but it doesnt seem like anything is up for negotiation. It bothers me that he doesn’t want me like I want him. Its still so new between us and I don’t want to make the wrong move.

Answer

Feeling rage when he talks to you about how he’s feeling, especially when it comes to sex, is not normal. At all.

Answer

I understand getting frustrated especially if your don’t feel like your being heard so rather then just tell him what you want tell him how you feel when you don’t think he is trying to work on What you have asked 
You really shouldn’t be getting so angry when he says no there shouldn’t be all this pressure to have sex 
It’s ok to not want to have sex, I know you get that if your already feeling like this so early on maybe your not compatible

Answer

You guys sound sexually incompatible.

Answer

Just think if it’s like that now that you’re supposed to be in your honeymoon phase imagine how it will be in a long term relationship. I know relationships are not all about sex but it’s definitely important

Answer

If the relationship is not satisfying all of your wants and needs it’s not the right relationship for you. And his excuses are bullshit. He’s telling you your pleasure doesn’t matter. This isn’t something you need to put up with.

Answer

Since you dont seem to be compatible sexual wise it might be a good idea to decide if its worth staying or if its time to move on apart.  He may just have a low sex drive and you have a higher sex drive. Nothing wrong with either one of these as long as everyone involved is happy with how things are going.

Answer

You haven’t been together that long, it’s only been four months almost 5, you don’t owe him anything, you’re not obligated to stay with anyone, if you’re that unhappy, then walk away. It sounds like your love language is physical touch, and whether that means holding hands or cuddling or kissing or massage or anything else, I get that, but at the same token, if your stomach was upset, all the time, or having diarrhea, etc., you can understand not wanting to be intimate with someone when you got a run to the bathroom or be uncomfortable or whatever his situation is. but like I said, in the beginning you don’t owe him anything, it sounds like you’re begging for attention or affection, but it’s not happening because it’s not feeling well. You don’t have to stay with him if things aren’t changing and you’re not happy and it’s only been four months, then, by all means you don’t have to stay

Answer

Sounds like he’s just making excuses and not going to put any effort into trying. I have an IBD so trust me I get stomach pains, diarrhea, bloating, etc to an extreme sometimes but I don’t let it control my life let alone our sex life. Sure there’s times I really don’t feel good and that’s okay - I’m not a robot.

What would you do?

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products