Gender disappointment help!

Im hoping i can place this here as open and honest about some of the shame and guilt we go through about this. But I'd love to know how others have dealt with gender disappointment. Its absolutely hit me like a train and i feel like im grieving and then come the feelings of shame and guilt. Its truly awful! Everyone says "once you hold your baby it wont matter" but i dont know if thats necessarily true. I think two can be true at once.. that yes you're happy but still disappointed. Wondering if anyone could give me tips on how theyve worked through this?