I feel like im losing my mind. My husband struggles with depression and drinking. He drinks behind my back. Hes so mean when he drinks. He tells me he hates me, he wants to hurt me, he throws things, at times he charges at me so that i flinch then he smiles. Two days ago i came from work and he was drunk (he also has fatty liver disease). I got so mad and we got in a fight. I told him i told his parents so he got so mad. So in front of my 1 year old son he takes my phone from my hand and smashes it. I am at awe of my life. Is it my fault? My husband told me its my fault. My life has been up side.down since i got pregnant. I feel like ive been robbed of my motherhood experience. This year is my 1st mothers day and it's alreadyruined.