Life is sad

Hello I'm 26, Today I woke up and felt a little more broken than yesterday. I walked into a dental office overheard the receptionist saying I'm ordering lunch for my dad at the office. I want to smile and laugh when I hear about other people's dads. It brings me so much joy to see them happy together. I don't see a world worth living in without my dad. I don't see a land I can walk on and feel equal to anyone. I see nothing. I see no one. I see a lonely road with nothing there. Just the wind blowing through my hair and shirt as I walk through trying to understand how I can live another day without leaving. My dad passed away in early 2017. It's been so hard it's been to become an adult. I never grew up I feel like I died with him. How can my precious, loving, caring alive dad die? I want to say I will never understand how he died but all I have it comprehension that he is not here with my any longer. That causes more tears and here I am typing away trying to find purpose in a world I dont understand. Sending love and blessing to everyone <3 may love reach your heart even when you're feeling like you can't feel or breath. Good day love ❤️