Numb…

So let me start out with..I’m due June 12th to have our second baby girl. I’m trying to keep calm for baby’s sake and the sake of our 3 year old, but it’s not been easy the last week.

My husband went in for a colonoscopy to get a hemorrhoid fixed last week and the doctor came out to tell me it looks like he has a cancerous mass in his colon so they did a biopsy. Due to the anesthesia I had to be the one to break the news to my husband and then we found out the next day that he does in fact have cancer.

We won’t know how bad the cancer is until he has imaging done this week, which will determine treatment…

I just feel so numb & depressed..it’s like I’m living in a damn hallmark movie. Just keep wondering how this is real…how this is life now. If the worst happens how do I go on without him…how do I even begin to explain to my daughter and the one on the way?

I’m trying to be hopeful, but how do you not spiral out when you hear the word “cancer”. I’m also a nurse which makes things I feel somewhat worse because I know more medically.