Do you expect your husband to defend you against sexual harassment?

Question

I need to know if I'm overreacting and expecting too much from my husband.
We went on a date for dinner and a movie. We knew there would be no parking at the restaurant so we parked the car at the theater. When we were walking from the restaurant to the theater a group of guys were smoking and started cat calling me and making gross comments. My husband told me to just ignore it and we kept walking. I'm trying to decide if I'm overreacting for wanting him to defend me. He has his own anxiety and PTSD. He also has ASD so maybe I'm expecting too much from him, but at the same time so many men would never let a group of men disrespect their woman and would stand up for her. In that moment I guess I wanted to be defended and feel protected but all he did was say ignore them and we kept walking. I'm not saying I wanted him to punch the guys because 6 against one isn't a fair fight but he could have said something or threatened. I don't know .... Am I overreacting?

Answer

Yes. Threatening a group of 6 guys is not a smart move at all. Who cares what they said? You’re an adult. Just stay safe & ignore it

Answer

Yes, you're overreacting. Telling you to ignore them is the adult thing to do.

Answer

Yes. I’d personally prefer my husband didn’t get beat up by 6 other guys so I’d prefer he wasn’t a hothead about it. He did the right thing.

Answer

Yes. If he would have tried to do something I would have been embarrassed. No one touched you. No one threatened you. You guys are adults, you act like it. And acting like an adult is ignoring stupid people.

Answer

Yes you are. I'm sure if they put their hands on you he would then step in to defend you. It's smarter to pick your battles though especially if you're outnumbered.

Answer

I feel as you’re over reacting and kind of hoping for things that are seen in movies at the same time, honestly. I feel he did the right thing to say ignore it and just kept walking. The world is scary. Yet in my own I tend to just let cat calls go one hear and out the next. If they were more violent then that then I would say I would hope he would do something.

Answer

Yes you’re overreacting and quite literally wanting your partner to put the both of you in a very dangerous situation if he’d reacted. Ignore and keep walking was the protection.

Answer

6 against 1 isn't fair and could have ended very badly if your husband spoke up. He did the right thing. He also has ASD, that might be asking too much of him to be confrontational to a group of men. Sorry you had to deal with that 😔

Answer

Um honestly a soft answer turns away wrath … him defending u with words probably would have sparked them to retaliate and he would be outnumbered…worse if they had concealed weapons…he did the right thing to tell u ignore n keep walking…different story if one of them tried to touch u.

Answer

I’m conflicted on this one because I do think your husband shouldn’t let people disrespect you but if you know he has anxiety and what not, you can’t really expect him to confront and especially threaten someone, let alone a group of people. Do I think men SHOULD defend/protect those around them? Yes. Do I EXPECT all men to? No.
To answer your title question, in my marriage, it depends on the situation. A homeless guy who was clearly not in the right state of mind was catcalling me, and my husband let it go. He did ask him, “what did you just say,” but once he realized the guy was not mentally there, my husband walked away. But if a guy were to blatantly disrespect me and he seemed normal, my husband would definitely say something. Because you’re disrespecting me and him. One thing I love about him is he WILL speak up, even for other people, man or woman. Not too long ago, we were in a grocery store and some guy made a rude comment to a Muslim man and my husband called him out on it quick and the guy got quiet. From what I’ve been told and from my personal experiences, other men actually respect men who stand their ground and don’t let BS slide. It’s just a man and power thing I guess. And if a man confronts another in the right way, it usually won’t end in a fight or anything serious. 
I do think you should stand up for what’s right and protect your family or help others. I do think your husband could’ve defended you without causing a scene or getting into a fight. But maybe he felt outnumbered and like you said, your husband has anxiety and PTSD, so I could see why he didn’t. If the other guys were a lot bigger or more threatening, it could’ve actually been a smart move for him to walk away if your husband didn’t feel confident enough to assert or defend himself. I’d just let it go and give him grace. If it’s something that really bothers you, talk to him about it but also keep in mind that you can’t change who he is.

Do you expect your husband to defend you against sexual harassment?

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