My husband and I have a 4 year old son and a 1 year old daughter. Our daughter still sleeps in our bed and nurses throughout the night. I nursed my son for 23 mos and he would wake up 2-3 times a night to nurse. He was in his own crib and having our daughter in our bed is so much easier. Plus, my husband stays up playing video games 3-4 nights a week and I enjoy the baby cuddles at the end of the day.

This morning I wanted to go to a prayer meeting our church was having at 5:00 am. I nursed the baby, got up and got out the door and my husband texted me, “she’s awake” so I asked if I should turn around and he said no, I think I got it. So I said okay, let me know if you need me to come home. He replied, yeah, I have no idea how to get her to sleep and he sent me a video of her crying and said this is why I don’t want another one. So I turned around and came home. He was so angry when I got home. And we got in a fight. I said it’s not fair that I can’t do anything for myself without the kids ever. And he said being woken up by someone head butting him and screaming in his face makes him go into fight and flight and that his adrenaline was going and he couldn’t go back to sleep. I replied that I didn’t do anything wrong and it’s crazy that he can’t handle our daughter when she’s upset. He acts like he’s the victim of a crying baby and she’s just doing what babies do. He said it’s my fault because she still sleeps in our bed and this wouldn’t have happened if she was in a crib. Which maybe, but also maybe not because my son was in a crib and still woke up 2-4 times a night.

I tried to go to the gym at 6 am probably 6 months ago a few times and my husband texted me saying “this is never happening again” literally the only time that works for our family is the early morning or the weekends. Evenings are hard because my husband doesn’t get home until 6, then we have dinner and the bedtime routine. I could try going after the kids go to bed but I am a morning person. So I cancelled oud gym membership because this season it didn’t seem to work.

It’s not crazy to ask my husband to figure it out right?? I do 95% of everything household related. I cook all our meals from scratch, make all of our bread, take care of pigs, chickens turkeys and ducks, do all the cleaning and laundry, do everything for the kids all day and work part time from home. I want a break sometimes and I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

And I love my husband. He’s a decent dad. He does the bedtime routine with our son every night. He gets down on the floor and wrestles with the kids, he loves the kids. He is kind and doesn’t yell or say hurtful things. He’s a faithful provider for our family. Could he do more, absolutely.