Not in love anymore

I 31f have been with my husband 37m for the last 11 years. I’m currently laying in bed with him and all I feel is this deep pain in my chest because I’m not in love with him anymore. We had a lot of issues over the years with him hiding his phone never wanting to share passwords, I do everything for the kids by myself and it just felt like I wasn’t appreciated plus there were moments of physical, verbal and emotional abuse. About 2 years ago he put his hands on me and in that moment I felt all the love leave my body and I’ve been trying to get it back but unfortunately I feel numb to the idea. I had nowhere to go and we have 3 kids so I just felt stuck, I went to nursing school and I’m graduating soon and I’m really tired of living a lie but I’m also really scared of breaking up my family. After that situation two years ago he’s been trying to be a better man but I just can’t help the way I feel and it’s making me so depressed. Any advice?