*TRIGGER* Do I tell my abusive “situationship” that I miscarried his baby?

Question

READ FIRST PLEASE *

I feel stuck. Basically I’ve been in a weird situationship with this guy for 3 years now. He’s abusive to me (verbally, emotionally, and has thrown something at me once) and controlling. But also reminds me any time I get too close for his comfort that I’m “just sex”. And dumps me off every so often and then comes back. He’s awful, obviously. I was going to break it off last week and then I found I was pregnant. I’m currently miscarrying right now. I haven’t told him up until this point because I thought there was hope the baby would survive. But my tests are getting lighter. I think he knows something is up because we share location and when he saw I was at the hospital, I told him it was for a bad UTI. But I’ve also been telling him that I’m having a rough time and am depressed. I asked for a hug and comfort sex but I think he thinks I’m just off my meds (I’m bipolar) and leaning on him emotionally and freaking him out. I want to tell him that I was pregnant and miscarrying. But my concerns are this: 1.) he won’t believe me. 2.) He’ll just freak out at the fact that I was pregnant and will stop talking to me 3.) he’ll just focus on the fact I didn’t tell him right away and be pissed. I just don’t know if it’s worth it to be open with him. But I feel guilty not telling him.

Answer

I would personally just cut him off completely. It doesn’t sound like he will care much or offer you any kind of support, so what’s the point? He sounds like a waste of time. If you were going to end it anyway, does it matter if he stopped talking to you?

Answer

I vote just be done with him. As you stated in the title he’s abusive. You owe him nothing. Do you have a support system you can reach out to?

Answer

Please leave him. And please do not bring a baby up with an abusive father. It’ll ruin their life. Also, I’m so sorry for your loss.

Answer

You don’t need to tell him and telling him isn’t going to make him treat you any better, with his behavior it’ll probably make him treat you worse. He’s not going to give you the emotional support you need. you need to just cut him off and be done

Answer

Will it help you, your physical health or your mental health to tell him versus not tell him? You deserve appreciation and love and care. You don’t have to go through this in silence, but neither do you have to put his feelings and well being above your own. So make the decision purely on what you think will help YOU through this hard time. Maybe it’s telling him or maybe it’s not, and looking for support from any other parts of your network, close or not. You’re obviously very prepared for negative responses, but if you do tell him, make sure to give yourself your own space to process his response — in case it still hurts no matter how much you anticipate it. So sorry to hear you’re going through this, and sending you care and gentleness for you to heal from the MC and find your better space and happiness.

Answer

Everything happens for a reason this is your sign to leave him alone

Answer

Cut this abusive man off. Stop sharing your location. Stop speaking with him.

Answer

I can tell you from personal experience, but if u choose 2 tell him, just know that you are only supplying him with ammo that he will use against you. He will see your vulnerability as a weakness, & he will weaponize it as such against you. My condolences 4 your loss. But also can say from personal experience, that u just dodged a HUGE bullet. It may be too painful 4 u to see rn, but BELIEVE ME, God just saved your ass from being tied down 2 that toxic abusive asshole, who will ultimately either end up killing u himself, or end up degradiing u & demolishing whatever shred of dignity/confidence/sense of identity you have until u become so kost & depressed that u off yourself...unless you make the decision to choose yourself, to choose LIFE, & u leave his ass FOR GOOD. Cut ALL ties, never look back. Its him, or you. The choice is yours, nobody can make it for you. I just pray that you make your choice b4 its too late..

Answer

First of I’m sorry for your lost. It’s a tough lost and always the what ifs. He’s sounds so controlling and yet you guys aren’t even committed, I’m assuming he’s seeing other people and you’re not allowed to…. For 3 years that’s going on??
I would be done. He doesn’t need to know, what is he gonna do with that information? From personal experience, I miscarried my exs child, I didn’t tell him I was pregnant and then lost it. My ex was manipulative condescending narcissistic cheater (I learned about the cheating after the breakup) I’m sure he would had been relieved and then say something stupid or gut wrenching thing to me, it would had been damaging for me. It sounds insensitive but I was relieved I lost it, of course I’m saddened the little soul that was once in my uterus didn’t get a chance in life and I will never know who they were, but for my own sake, I would had strings still attached to my horrible ex. So therefore, I kept it to myself. I think you should too.

Answer

you’re afraid he’ll cut you off and stop talking to you….? he’s abusive, those words came out of your own mouth. leave the whole situation.

TRIGGER Do I tell my abusive “situationship” that I miscarried his baby?

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products