New kindergarten mom…. Does it ever get easier?

Question

My girl had only been away from her Daddy and me once in her entire life, which was when I had her baby sister back in November. We all cried like big ol babies then.
She just started her first day of school after being with me (SAHM) every day for nearly 5 years (she’ll be 5 on Saturday). I cry every morning at drop off and I cry through the day. I’m constantly checking out local news to make sure nothing is going on at or near her school every hour and refreshing the parent-teacher messaging app in case I’ve missed a message. I know it’s healthy to be away from your kids sometimes but it is mentally and physically hurting me…
She has been brave at drop off every day but her teacher messaged to tell me she cries during the day because she misses her mommy and baby sister. She’s also having a tough time making friends. I know it’s only the 3rd day but friendships are established quickly in elementary school. It’s really hard to hear her say nobody would talk to her at lunch and she played alone at recess. And the little girl next to her in class “pranks” her every day (her words). She’s timid, so I know most of it is just her having trouble putting herself out there. But it makes me so sad picturing her at school while everyone plays together and she’s alone. 
Does it mentally get easier to just leave your baby at school? And stop feeling guilty like you’re a bad mom for abandoning them at school. (This is just my mom's anxiety telling me that I know) 
For the moms with shy babies, did it ever get easier for them? My girl is a crazy silly sweet kid but I’m afraid she’ll never come out of her shell at school 😞.

Answer

It gets better and easier. She will make friends. She will cry less. This is all normal. 
If your anxiety continues at this level, you should talk to your doctor.

Answer

She’s probably picking up on your energy. It is very normal for children to spend time apart from their parents, especially once they reach school age. Are there other opportunities she can spend time away from you outside of school (ballet, swimming, art class, etc)? That way she can practice coming out of her shell more without it also being school. And you can practice spending time without her. 
It sounds like you may need some counseling around your anxiety. Leaving your child with others can make you feel nervous, but it shouldn’t be interfering with your life, or hers, to this level.

Answer

If you live in America where school shootings are the most horrific thing a parent and child can go through while the child is in a place of learning. To respond as if you can't find the empathy as to why she is terrified checking the school message board for updates I think that makes her a wonderful mother I'm not blaming that on your anxiety because society is not creating a safe space for our children to learn! So hell yeah I'm terrified with you and I don't even have kids but I'm already thinking of this extra fear I would have being a parent ! I don't fault you I don't blame you I think you're doing a wonderful job there are women that don't care if their child eats in their own home.. yes your doing wonderful you should be worried it's your job to protect your child to the best. I worked in a daycare ages 6months to 12 years old some times the new kids are stand offish more shy but it's always another child that will be curious of something the next child may have that may be a toy they brought from home some shoes backpack also talk with the teacher and other parents to help create those relationships for your daughter. Sorry so long but your anxiety is nothing but your love and protection for your baby never thought I'd see other women be blind to that and find a way to put you in an unstable box when you are normal!

Answer

Personally I felt more anxious thinking my kid would have no socialization skills by the time they entered kindergarten than I did ‘abandoning’ them. Ultimately I knew my children would have to be able to function without me and that it was my job as a parent to teach them how to do that. I agree you should seek help for that anxiety though.

Answer

I don’t know why the comments are so mean. I have a daughter same age and I was so sad for you reading your post. You poor thing ❤️
It definitely does get easier. I’m lucky my daughter had two years of Montessori so she is happy going into class (she just started too). 
You could try to do something that would help her establish friendships in the class. Find out who she might like, meet the other parents at the gate and arrange play dates. Get yourself a calendar and fill the book with the things. Have one as often as you can manage. Try and invite the class (one by one). Your daughter can get to know them in a safe environment and will come out of her shell. Just one friend is all it takes. It absolutely sucks for you but you have to try and keep it together when she’s around. You could buy her a mommy bracelet to wear that she can touch if she misses you to know you are there and thinking of her and sending her lots of love. Or you could just draw a love heart on her wrist and the same on yours and touch them at the start and end of the school day. Write little notes and put them in her lunch box ❤️ good luck with it, you will look back on this. It will pass.

Answer

It will definitely get better as she gets into a routine…my son started kindergarten last week and he cries at drop off by the time he gets home he is saying “school was so fun!”…

Answer

Maybe consider homeschooling? 😏

Answer

I haven't read all of the comments. So, some of this may be a repeat, or I may be polar opposite of what most have said. 
Since, you are a SAHM with a younger child, consider checking the compulsory school age for your state. In most states the age is 6. So, if you and she are not ready for school, you might be able to wait.
Additionally, I would check into homeschooling options. You can homeschool for K, and then decide if you want to continue or send her to public or private school the following year.  
Most states have private homeschooling options, which I'll be completely honest are my personal favorite, because it typically allows for maximum freedom and flexibility.  Check out HSLDA.org for your state's regulations.
The next option is homeschooling via the public school system. What this looks like varies based on the state. Many states have online public school-at-home. This is my least favorite option as it requires a lot of time on the computer and doesn't have flexibility to customize learning to meet your child where she's at. The curriculum and grade level are chosen for you. Programs like K12 and your state's name are what you'd search for this. 
Next are PUBLIC charter SCHOOLS. You'll want to look into ones that are "homeschool friendly" or have flexible attendance options. There are some that have hybrid attendance - your child goes to school 2-3 days/week and homeschools the other days. The curriculum is chosen for you. There may be funding for educational activities available.  Others have full homeschool options - no on campus classes, but may have clubs or enrichment activities your child can participate in. These typically provide funding to parents for educational purposes - curriculum, classes, enrichment activities, sports, lessons, materials, manipulatives, etc. All non-consumable items must be returned in good condition or you'll be charged for them.
The above option online public school-at-home and public charter schools can be helpful if you want oversight. They are still "homeschooling" but the flexibility greatly varies, and you are bound by all of the public school regulations. Which is totally fine for some families. It might be for yours!
You have options! So, trust your mom instinct and consider all of the amazing alternatives you have to choose from. You don't have to send your daughter to school, just because she reached a certain age.
Best of luck!

Answer

Out of curiosity- since you’re a SAHM, why not homeschool?

Answer

It does get easier. For you and for the kid. Have you considered homeschooling? More and more people are gearing toward that. It’s on the rise!

New kindergarten mom…. Does it ever get easier?

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