Why did you decide to enroll or not enroll your kid(s) in daycare

Question

I live in NC and childcare is $1,300+ a month for just 1 kid. If you are a SAHM how do you not feel bad for quitting your job and your husband picks up the slack or not having your own money? So many questions 😭

Answer

My 4 year olds daycare is $1260/month and I’m pregnant with twins and it will be $1500/month each when they go. I would never be a SAHM. I actually make almost double what my husband makes and I find zero fulfillment in homemaking. I like having professionals teach my kids. I like the independence the gain from being away from me, I like the socialization they get, I like hearing about their day, I like helping them work through any obstacles they run into, I like being able to worry about building their morals and values at home while they learn their letters and numbers at school. I prefer to have quality time over quantity of time. I also don’t think that spending every moment of your life with your children is a flex, as much as I actually enjoy being around my kids. Truthfully I think the ‘mom guilt’ of any of these choices disappears with age/experience and with the more confident you are in yourself and your own decisions. I don’t guess what’s right for my family, I know what’s right for my family, and I don’t care/compare what works for anyone else. Ultimately the choice to work or stay home is one you make with your husband, hopefully with great communication and understanding of what the expectations are from both, heavy on what’s best for your family.

Answer

Not a stay at home mom. My fiancé works days and I work nights, so I’m home in the morning/afternoon with our kids (soon to just be one as the oldest will be in school) and my fiancé has them at night. We have  few hour lay over with our schedules so his mom (retired) watches them until he’s out of work to pick them up. 
We are very lucky and fortunate that we both can work and have access to free childcare because otherwise idk what we would do but daycare would definitely be out of the question, one of us would basically just be working to pay someone else to watch our kid(s). And also I’m grateful my kids are with family/someone I trust to look after them and treat them like their own.

Answer

I don't feel guilty at all because we are on the same page. I worked up until I gave birth with my 1st and have been a stay at home mom since. When my youngest is in kindergarten I'll go back to work if thats whats best but we both wanted me to be at home with the kids. But it also isnt like I just sit at home and watch tv or go to the zoo daily. We live on a homestead and I run it. I also make most of our food. I have taught my kids and have had fun with them every single day I have spent with them and am 100% sure I taught them more than a day care would have. I keep our cars, yard and home up and keep the house in order. We both work...my job is just not paid with money. We are a team and its what worked for our family. Besides us wanting me to be there to teach and nurture the kids I also wanted to. They are only little for a blink of an eye and you only have them to yourself for a snap before they are in school and away as much as home. By 3rd/4th grade your kids childhood is half over already. Some people hate being a stay at home parent though and that's also fine and no easier or harder...just different. Or have a partner who doesn't want you to stay at home while you do or vice versa and can make bad feelings. We all need to do whats best for us and that could be a ton of different things. For me spending as much time as I can with my kids and being the CEO of our home as my kids jokingly call me works.for us. My sister hates being at home as a parent so she works and has day care. My sister in law kinda hates the little kid stage of her kids so since they have the money they have a live in au pair but she doesn't work. She does some things with her kids but does a ton just for her while the au pair has her kids. As long as your kids are safe, loved and provided for they are good. And if you are on the same page as your partner and doing what you all need to for your family the guilt isn't there as much.

Answer

My husband and I alternate our schedules so we don’t do daycare for our children, I rather work every weekend or nights than put them in daycare… it’s too expensive and there’s always some kind of abuse going on. Not to even mention some crazy agenda being put on kids these days. We prefer this lifestyle because we can still hangout as a family, both work part time, and save money. This economy is really tough to have one SAHP. But I tried that SAHM for a bit and I was going crazy it was too much so all week long. I liked having the days to spend time with my kids, clean, cook, then clean after that mess and go to bed with a nice clean house but the close walls 24/7 is too much. So that’s why we alternate our part time jobs

Answer

I've always been a stay at home mom. I have also worked while being a stay at home mom. Both are tough. We made a choice that this sacrifice was important to us and our beliefs that we should be raising our children. That being said it isn't always easy. We've worked rotating shifts. I did at home daycare. And I even worked as a  contract worker. Right now with three young kids this is my full-time job. I try to make life as easy as possible. All of our money is ours we are a team. He tried to work as much overtime as possible. We make sacrifices like our cars are old but they are paid off and we don't take elaborate trips but we do small family style get aways. We don't eat out I make all of our food including my husband's breakfast lunch and snacks for work. We may never get this time back with our children and it's worth it for us.

Answer

You'll feel guilty regardless. I've been both a working mom and sahm. For me being a working mom was too hard. I felt like I was neglecting everything else and that home life was a mess. My youngest did not like preschool and refused to talk at school. I was so tired after work that all I wanted to do was go to bed and I wasn't getting enough quality time with my family. Now as a sahm I do feel guilty that my husband is picking up the slack but we are more happy marriage wise. I'm more involved with everything my kids are doing and my youngest child is with me all day which we love. Not saying this will be your experience. You might love working and be able to have a great work/life balance.

Why did you decide to enroll or not enroll your kid(s) in daycare

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