Backstory: my boyfriend did not have this hobby when we started dating. It will be 4 years next month, and this hobby started a few months ago. If this was who he was when I saw him on Tinder, it would have been an immediate no from me.

I don’t like it (even though he has tried to get me to participate) but I think it’s inhumane. [He fishes- catch and release. I am mostly a vegetarian for humanity reasons.]

I try to support him, going with him to the sporting goods stores etc. Sometimes we would get in arguments because a quick trip to walmart would turn into him spending an hour looking in the fishing aisle while I stand there completely bored with the cart. I even offered to try some nice parks together, I read while he fishes. We drive an hour just to go to bass pro shop and then come home. I listen to him talk about his fish etc. Attempting to support his interests, unlike he does for mine. (Only thing I ask is that he does not send me pictures of the fish.)

But this has literally taken over his life. Every morning he doesn’t work, he goes fishing for hours. Forget having a day for just us- he won’t be at my house until after noon. He spends so much money on these things too, then says he has no money for anything else.

I finally tried to bring up how I felt- that he prioritizes fishing over everything else in his life, and it upset me. His only response was “sorry that I have a hobby and you don’t”. (Last night he also brought up “sorry that I have friends who actually want to hang out with me and you don’t” and then tried to tell me that both of those things “wasn’t supposed to be hurtful.”)

He seriously sits on his phone watching fishing videos, reading fishing reddits and blogs and sites even when we’re trying to hang out together.

Today, he suggested a little hike for us to do together. Okay awesome! Well he didn’t even arrive until 1 pm, so now its the hottest time of the day. And where did he want to hike? To a pond. To fish! Nowhere that even offered shade or anything remotely interesting or comfortable for me. I broke down sobbing and brought everything up- how I feel like he doesn’t even like to be around me anymore. “I come over all the time” Yeah he comes over for dinner, eats and then passes out on the couch by 8:30. Exhilarating.

I don’t know how to express this in a way that doesn’t make me seem like an unsupportive asshole girlfriend. He seems to think that the fix for this is for me to find a hobby, or new friends because I guess he thinks I’m pathetic or s/t 👍🏻

No babe, I have adhd and social anxiety, it’s really not that simple. Glad it is for you 🙄