My mother lacks discipline in herself but has also not enforced or implemented any rules, consequences or responsibility to me or my other siblings.

As a 26 year old now I see how her lack of discipline when we were younger continues a cycle of yelling, screaming, fighting, rule breaking and lack of accountability in my 20 year old sister. My 34 year old sister is blinded by love in a manipulative and controlling relationship that also stems from her mother wound. But that’s for another post…

I am worried about my 13 year old sister as my mother continues with her lenient parenting. And my unborn child (20 weeks) and what if I do the exact same things…

My mother argues that we as older sisters should “help her with our younger sisters” but then when I try to implement basic rules like setting a bed time, spreading your bed or washing your own dishes I am the one that gets yelled at and told “I am not the mother. Stop being so harsh on them”.

I’m even yelled at because I ONLY wash my dishes and told that I am selfish for not washing the others when I see the sink is full. I’ve gotten my 13 year old sister to do the same so when the sink IS full it’s only dishes from my mom and 20 year old sister… but I’m still supposed to wash them??!

I am about to have my first child and want to be nothing like my mom. Truly I want to cut her off completely and raise my child the way I have always dreamed of.

I was 11 and jealous of my friends when they told me they had curfews, bed times and also of friends and their tidy/organised homes

I’ve just ended my relationship with the father of my child as he was abusive and even kicked me in my stomach once.

I don’t want the stress of being a single mom to lead me back to my mom. So I’m trying to create my own routine when I move into my own apartment.

Any advice on how to start the process of not only being responsible for myself but as a soon to be mom (in 20 weeks)

And should I cut my mom off? At least until I have structure in my child’s life?