Am I wrong for how I feel ?

Hi everyone I’m currently 14 weeks 5 days pregnant with my 4th child this is my second boy. I’ve been highly depressed this whole pregnancy only because this baby is the result of a domestic violence situation that happened to me . Basically long story short my ex became very abusive about 8 months into our relationship he got on some really bad drugs , when I tried to leave him for the sake of my kids and myself he beat me badly gave me a huge knot on my head that stayed for weeks causing a concussion, fractured a few bones on my hand cause I was using my hands to guard my face from his fists . Mind you my kids were never home during the times of abuse because they have a great dad . I actually called the police a few times but each time he got away so one day after days of being on the run he found me again tried to break into the home I was in and I called the officer on his case she was able to lock him up . 2 weeks go by I go to the doctor to make sure he didn’t give me any STDs or to make sure I was pregnant everything came back negative. Fast forward to 2 weeks later I’m getting really sick thinking it’s Covid and lo and behold I’m 7 weeks pregnant. Sometimes I don’t know how to feel about this pregnancy I cry almost everyday most people ask why I didn’t abort I don’t believe in abortion plus I don’t have $730 laying around to pay for it when I have 3 other kids to care for . I’m still gonna love this baby boy with every bone in me but I’m so scared of going through everything alone , the labor everything I’m tired of being depressed so I try to look at the bright side but it’s soo hard sometimes🥺