Am I still in love with my ex?

Question

Hi I am 20-year-old female and I’m really thrown at this moment.
￼ I have been into a three year long relationship through high school from 10th grade up to the 12th and it was the greatest and worst love that I felt.￼ me and my ex partner loved each other so much but during getting into the university he didn’t really care to call me or write to me for a bit like five months and it really hurt me and I’ve told him that if he doesn’t solve this problem, I don’t think I can go back to the relationship and be alright with it. We never really broke up before the first time happened. It just finished there because I couldn’t cope with it anymore. He did some bad stuff￼ in the relationship like helping a girl out to move into the university at 12 o’clock and then going out with her at 12 o’clock the other day in the evening of course. Also after the relationship, he tried to have my girlfriends be his friends and actually my best friend slept at his house but not fucked or kissed. He hated her before that and  he did that just to hurt me more.
after we have broken up, I got with a guy but I kind of liked during the last months of my three year-old relationship. I am now almost 1 year into that relationship now but I can’t get out of my head how much I loved the guy from high school.
I found myself crying today over finding the first outfit in which saw me. I still think about him after more than a year broken up and I don’t know if I should get back or not. He hurt me mentally￼ a lot bye not really supporting me during the worst time of my life when I had to study or fourteen hours a day.
We remained the same group of friends(with the ex)and when I see him and his eyes, I only remember a good things and fall in love with him again or at least remember all the good times. ￼ I love this guy that I’m with now but he’s not that talkative and I cannot have like meaningful conversations and I cannot explain it why? I know he shy but it really bothers me and I don’t know what to do anymore.
I slowly try to get my boyfriend into the group because I know it will hurt him if he’s not there and I tried to get contact with the ex and I kind of solved it but when I see him, it just kind of breaks of my heart. How can I get over him?

Answer

I would be single and focus on school. Never go back to a toxic ex. But you need to focus on yourself right now and have fun. You have to find someone meant for you in time. :)

Answer

Don’t go back to that. It’s not a love that will last. Pop culture likes to sell the idea that we should desire a love that “consumes” us and “challenges” us. Yes couples should inspire each other to become better, but two people shouldn’t challenge EACH OTHER but rather face challenges TOGETHER. When I say we shouldn’t challenge other, I mean we shouldn’t always have each other on edge, play games, or keep each other guessing. Pop culture sells this kind of dynamic as love but it’s toxic and it won’t last. 
If you want to stay in your current relationship and you love your current boyfriend, you need to end the friendship with your ex immediately out of respect and setting healthy boundaries for your current relationship. Tbh I think you should end the friendship with your ex regardless because he sounds like he isn’t a good friend to you. 
Healthy love is steady & safe. A good man will make his intentions for you clear. A good man will set healthy boundaries when it comes to other women/female friends. A good man will make sure you feel his love and affection for you & you won’t have to chase it. 20 is so young. You have plenty of time. You might not even met “the one” yet. Don’t settle until you find a good man who will love you well. I promise from experience, as someone who was hurt badly from my high school love and stayed single for years after, when you find a genuinely good man, you’ll wonder why you ever stayed hung up on a silly boy. A good man is more than worth the wait and especially if you’re looking for marriage, choosing a spouse is arguably the most important decisions of your life. 
Good luck ❤️

Answer

If you're thinking about your ex while with your new guy a year in then the new guy is not the guy for you, he's a rebound. Your ex sounds like a piece of work and should be avoided at all costs. You are likely just upset that he treated you badly. He will not change, do not go back there. You are so young still. Focus on college, date, have some fun and worry about 'the one' in about 5 years time when you've matured and know where you are in life and exactly where you're going.

Answer

First, I understand your heart and feelings for him and it hurts a lot when you loved someone and thought that they would be your forever but they end up lacking the effort for you. I’m 20 years old too and experienced this with my last boyfriend. I knew that from the way it hurt, I was searching for a love that I couldn’t handle trying to look for in man anymore. God loves you & it’s only in Him that your heart will be repaired again & you’ll get the unconditional love that you are looking for.❤️ Only when you know true love will you be able to recognize when it’s in front of you & for you. Please take a break from relationships, draw closer to Jesus & heal. You deserve better and there is better for you ❤️. Text me if you need any guidance

Answer

Dont waste your time on this douch. Move on. Know.your self worth you.deserve.better. carry.on you.have a whole life ahead of you and your going to meet alot of new people.

Answer

I would seek out a trauma therapist. You may be trauma bonded to your ex. I’m sorry you’re going through this. You do deserve so much better than how your ex treated you. That’s not love.

Answer

None of this is fair to your current partner. I honestly think you should break up with him because crying and pining over your ex is not ok. 
I’m not understanding why you and your ex broke up. He helped a person move? He didn’t text or call while you studied all day?

Answer

Gotta break that soul tie !

Answer

God has already given you the strength to walk away stop trying to hold on to something he is trying to remove out your life

Answer

Been there! It’s okay that your new boyfriend is not giving you the same feelings. He isn’t the one for you. Your ex clearly doesn’t have good intentions towards you. Respect your own feelings. You do not feel strongly about your new boyfriend to the point your ex is having a pull on you. Never go back to someone who doesn’t respect you, it is okay that you feel things for someone who doesn’t respect you but don’t act on those feelings. You will not find anything that resembles actual “love” with a guy that was willing to be your ex in the first place. That emotional connection is hurting you, and you will have to cut it. As brutal as it is, after you cut it you will understand you deserve someone who is really only into you.

Am I still in love with my ex?

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