I think I’m losing my mind. Im always so tired, I would lay in bed for hours and couldn’t sleep. It would be 2/3am before I fell asleep. This went on for almost 2 months. I would take Benadryl to fall asleep, but I knew that could be harsh on my body. I then started taking melatonin because of it. Sometimes it doesn’t even work, so I lay in bed delirious/paranoid. If it does work I’m waking up in the middle of the night. I don’t leave the house, unless it’s the weekend because my bf comes over on weekends, but I’m starting to not want to leave and thinking about stopping those plans too. I don’t want to get dressed, do my hair, nothing. I’ve never looked such a mess before. I’m eating junk food, but this week I’ve cut down on carbs tremendously to help and increase my water. I keep having the same dreams, my dad passed in 2016 and I keep having dreams about him. And I wake up thinking he hasn’t passed an he has. They seem so real. Last night in my dream we were getting ready for his funeral and I told everyone he passed in 2016 and showed them my tattoo on my arm or his date and they said they were worried when I first got it because he was alive the whole time and said I was crazy. I’m having dreams my boyfriend is ignoring me and acting like I don’t exist. I have two off days in a row and this week I laid in bed from when I woke up til I went to sleep, literally. I usually find something to do, but I just watched time go by. I’ve been taking VTO(voluntarily time off, no pay) from work. I just about almost cry when it’s time to work and I work from home. I feel as though even emails of performance at work is triggering me. It took me 4 days to make a dr appt because I had no drive to do it, literally to just pick up the phone. I don’t have friends, my friend moved and my other friend we decided to keep distance because she always had an attitude. Overall, I’m waking up so irritated. I need a break, but I don’t know where to go or how to get the break because my mind is CONSTANTLY RUNNING. I feel like I’m getting ate alive and all I want to do is just lay in my bed because there’s nothing I can do.