On a regular schedule I work 50 hours a week. It’s a very physically demanding job and literally wears me down but the pay is good. My bf of 6 years doesn’t work and has been basically begging me to see if I can get him a job where I work because “nobody will hire him”. I told him no, he needs to find his own job and basically not to mooch off of me all the time because it’s not fair. He literally hasn’t had any interviews lately so I don’t understand why his excuse is “nobody will hire me”.

When I leave for work, I tell him the things that I’d like to be done by the time I’m home. Just stuff like dishes, laundry, mopping, basic house chores. SOMETIMES they are done. It’s about 50/50. I’ve tried to be civil and have conversations about it and not let it turn into a screaming match but I feel like I’m at my wits end.

As I’m writing this now, I just came home off a 10 hour shift and the house looks exactly the same as it did when I left. The last straw today was that when I came home, he left a huge bag of goodies on the counter. Stuff from 7/11 and stuff from McDonald’s. I get SO irritated by this because we have food! AND ITS MY MONEY HES SPENDING WITH NO PERMISSION. I looked in the trash and I noticed there were 4 tall beers in there and they are 8% each. He’s sleeping now, most likely from a drunk induced sleep. I’m so furious I’m actively stopping myself from waking him up and just yelling at him.

He’s been “training” to join the military soon because that’s what he wants to do. Yet he’s not doing literally anything. He says he’s “too fat” to join right now. I’ll be honest, he’s got a little pudge but he is nowhere near fat. I’m pretty sure there are people bigger than him that have joined as they were. He says he needs a few months to workout and lose some weight yet everyday he just plays video games and MAYBE does chores. He always yells at his game and complains about literally everything and it makes me so upset because like, what do YOU have to complain about?? You don’t work, you aren’t working out like you said you’d be, and all you do is WHATEVER TF YOU WANT! It’s so not fair!

Also, because of my job, my ENTIRE body is sore 24/7. I have cuts, bruises, scars, etc on EVERY part on my body. Literally. We haven’t had sex in 3 months because the work has just been getting harder and harder and when I come home I’m so sore and tired I don’t even want to move let alone have sex. He complains about it all the time and says it’s ruining our relationship. Hmm… I wonder why I don’t want to have sex. Not only is my body literally dying, but he doesn’t do the basic chores for the house, doesn’t work, and literally doesn’t contribute in any way. Why would any of that lead me to WANT to have sex?

I plan to talk to him in the morning and tell him that he has 1 week to get his shit together or I’m gone. The drinking needs to be stopped immediately and I’ll be taking his credit cards as well. It feels like financial abuse.

Phew… I really just needed to get it off my chest. Sorry the post got to be so long… A part of me feels like I’m overreacting but I’m pretty sure that’s just based off of past traumas. Let me know what you girls think or what you would do in this situation!