I need advice please.

I’ve been struggling the last couple of months with thinking about death every single day. I think about how stress free & beautiful heaven would be. I’ve dealt with a lot in my life the last almost 10 years & I feel like such a failure. I have 3 beautiful children I’d do anything in the world for & no I’m not saying I’m going to kill myself. Life here on earth is hard. I can’t find a decent job without a degree, my oldest 2 children their dad has hardly anything to do with them, so it’s always just been ME. I want a good job, a beautiful home for my babies, & although I’m truly blessed for my little old trailer house I feel at 26 I should have way more than that & I don’t. I feel like I’m failing my children & myself. Why am I always thinking about death? Any advice would be appreciated