Bf & std

Hi everyone,

I’m here seeking some words of encouragement, advice, or insight from anyone who may have gone through a similar experience. I’m 20 years old, and I’ve always been shy and reserved. Last year, I met a boy, and we dated for a while. Early on, I opened up to him about my fears of intimacy due to past experiences and my religious beliefs. He was understanding, and for the first six months, we kept things to just kissing. I never felt pressured, and things seemed to be going well.

He eventually planned a beautiful week-long vacation for us. We stayed in a nice hotel, went on a helicopter ride, and he decorated the room before asking me to officially be his girlfriend. Prior to the trip, we had an honest conversation about being exclusive. I explained my boundaries, my commitment to getting tested before and after every partner, my health concerns, and my past betrayal by a partner. I also asked if he’d been tested after his last partner, and he assured me he had.

Feeling reassured, I decided to be intimate with him for the first time. Less than two weeks later, I started experiencing excruciating pain, which I initially thought was a UTI. My boyfriend encouraged me to see a doctor. That’s when I found out I had contracted herpes. When I confronted him, he admitted that he lied about getting tested. He took full accountability and claimed he didn’t know he had it because he doesn’t get tested regularly.

I’ve never felt so low, hurt, and disappointed. This experience has shaken my confidence and left me feeling unworthy of love or dating again, as if I’m stuck with him for life because of this diagnosis.

If anyone has kind words, insight, or advice, I would deeply appreciate it. I feel alone and am struggling to process everything.