Do I have a right to be upset?

Question

My 6 year old son is sick & can’t go to school. I work full time & am in the probationary period, I have already had to take a lot of days off to tend to my son’s needs along with appointments for him. I have no more paid days off & I am struggling financially. 
His dad who sees him once a week has been asking to have him for overnights & to step up into the role of being his father more & often blames me for how he doesn’t have much to do with our son. (History of drug use and domestic violence which is why) However when I ask him to take the day off so he can tend to him on days like today he never can. He has planned a trip to the coast with his older brother for the weekend and they’re leaving at lunch. 
I am just frustrated. I have to sacrifice everything if my child is sick & he can’t do the same yet wants the same role as me in our child’s life.

Answer

PS also wondering if dad is paying child support. Seeing as he is consistent with working. There are legal aid orgs that can help you get this sorted if not. May help with your finances. ♥️

Answer

You are right to be frustrated BUT even though he shouldn’t NEED the extra motivation to take his parenting role more seriously, it may actually help to give him more access to his child IF YOU DEEM IT SAFE. The more bonded he is with his child, the easier it will be for him to want to prioritize him. Also the kinder you are to dad and the more you show you trust him with the care of his child, the more likely he will be to want to help you out, as his self esteem starts to build from the respect he is receiving (whether he earned it in the past or not). But you obviously can’t rely on that happening. Just remember drug addiction is an illness and if he is recovering, he has a lot of habits to rebuild/build, such as self esteem, flexibility, putting others first, etc. And a good routine, control of one’s environment and not too much disruption/challenge/overwhelm is crucial for recovering addicts to make sure they don’t relapse, so he may have reasons for not feeling able to/wanting flex his work schedule EVEN THOUGH IT SUCKS for you, and your child. Also, while it sucks that he may only get time with his child when it’s convenient for him, withholding a child from their father isn’t good for the child UNLESS YOU DEEM IT UNSAFE (emotionally or physically) of course. Addiction is so damaging, and DV too - I’ve dealt with both too and I am so sorry you have been through everything you have been through with this man. It’s so hard to know if an addict is using again, or if an abuser is going to have another episode. If dad is not safe, then try to refocus on other relationships in your life for support, as dad obviously isn’t an option on the week days OR the evenings and weekends. You are the best judge of this. Praying for y’all xxx

Answer

Definitely your role is very important to your child and you give it your all it seems like he wants to have the role when its convenient for him from your perspective try to communicate your feelings about this and do not sugarcoat it as a parent he is also responsible to take care of your child while sick

Answer

@GlowGPT please help me with this topic!

Do I have a right to be upset?

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