What is married life?

Question

So my fiance and I have been together for 8 years now. For the last couple years I’ve noticed it’s just boring and like he gets annoyed with me and I get annoyed with him a lot easier. It’s definitely not just all him because I’ve been feeling lazy about it too. I mean we love each other a lot but we also both work a lot so when we are home together we just wanna chill and be lazy and that’s all. Like for special events we will go out and make a whole big deal of it…
One of our friends kinda made fun of us for it and was like yeah you guys are gonna have a boring marriage you guys are so weird and boring blah blah. I just think that we are comfortable. It’s not like he’s the only one that doesn’t want to do anything, I don’t either. We both have very physically demanding jobs so it just works out that way.
Now because she said that I’m feeling like I am missing out on life and I should be going out or something. Is it so wrong to just not want to do anything and be at home??

Answer

Being happily comfortable is not "boring". Marriage requires A LOT of down time, so you need to be at peace just sitting around in silence. It also seems like you do put an effort when the situation merits it. My hun and I will sit like a pretzel and each of us just scroll our phones. We'll pause and show each other whatever funny video pops up resume just chilling. I do however find it EXTREMELY important to be intentional with quality time with each other. Making sure we're no getting complacent and neglectful but actually nurturing our relationship. We go on dinners often, we plan elaborate dates, horseback riding, exploring near by towns, go on karaoke drives. I'll buy us matching clothes, and we'll take couples pictures. As much as we are so comfortable just being in silence, I do believe it's important to treat marriage like a plant you constantly care for. It doesn't have to be extravagant, it just has to be intentional. It also doesn't have to look like Instagram couples nonsense, where if you're not doing these extreme grand gestures, then you're not happy. Don't fall into someone else's ideas of what "happy" is supposed to look like, but also if you feel like you are truly missing out, it wouldn't be a bad idea to invest more quality and intentionality into each other. Otherwise that's when people no longer prioritize each other, there are no flowers, no dates, and no romanticism.

Answer

My husband & I have been together for 12 years, married almost 8. We don’t do anything or go anywhere. We like to be in the comfort of our home. The only time we really do anything is when we do our once a month date night & when we take our daughter on adventures 1-2 times a month. We spend our time at home most days & we have fun at home, whether that be laying on the couch watching a show together, making dinner together. Him playing video games & me relaxing on the couch with our daughter. There is nothing wrong with being at home & being lazy.

Answer

Your friend sounds extremely immature, honestly, so don’t take her opinion to heart. My husband and I have been married a really long time and we are happy with what your friend considers “boring”… and you have to be because marriage is not always exciting and fun.

What is married life?

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