Have you ever done something that was a town scandal?

Question

Trigger warning.
Have you ever done something that was a scandal and the whole school or town knew about it ? And you were embarrassed about it ??? 
When I was in high school, I was a good girl for the most part. I was quiet and didn’t have a lot of friends. I was also naive and wanted boys to like me. This one guy started hanging out with me and he was a pot head.  I smoked with him one time. He gave me some to keep for myself. I had it in my backpack.  One day at school, I showed my friends. But then I got caught by a teacher. I got suspended for the rest of the year and the whole school talked about it and made fun of me for it. People that didn’t know me, thought I was a huge pot head.  It was so embarrassing. My family was so mad and embarrassed. I was “canceled” as today would call it.  I cringe when I think about it. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately and I have anxiety over it. 
I haven’t told my fiancé about it yet as I think he will judge me. I get so nervous that someone I knew from school will tell my fiancé. Or people I work with. 
I am 31 years old now btw. And this happened when I was 15.  
Do you have any advice for me ? 
Or have you ever made a big mistake before ?

Answer

Girl that’s nothing 
When I was 15 someone sent an email to everyone saying that I “masturbate to pictures of my own vagina” 
I walked through the halls and everyone stared at me. I had no idea until one of my best friends was like “omg did you see the email that was sent about you” 
I still have no idea who sent it but I laugh about it now. I think you should do the same. Just laugh it off. Because it’s soooooo not a big deal.

Answer

Girl, my advice to you is to unburden yourself. Even if you choose to keep this secret I want to tell you a few things that I hope will help re-frame your perspective a little & hopefully ease your anxiety:
1) Most people (including your parents) tried drugs in their youth, including other adults and people you admire.
2) You were a kid so at least the consequences weren’t legal or lasting ones.
3) School and small towns are a powder-keg of drama but it blows over eventually.
4) If someone who knows your past feels the need to pass judgement and gossip about you then they are pretty pathetic and petty. It says more about their character than yours. Telling your husband before anyone else gets the chance would completely take the wind out of their sails.
5) You didn’t hurt anyone else so you have nothing to be ashamed about.
I really hope you gather up the courage to let it out and feel the relief that comes with it.

Answer

I was expelled in high school for getting in a fight and I am still embarrassed of it but I’ve apologized to the girl and put in a lot of effort to change and be better, so I don’t let it affect me. I’ve had people tell me years later they were happy someone put her in her place because she was a massive bully lol. I do still feel really bad about it but, it is what it is and I can’t change it. 
Honestly I think things are way different now than 15 years ago in regards to weed. I’m 22 and everyone in my high school was a stoner, no one cared. In fact the people that didn’t smoke were considered the weird ones lol. I think now, even if people remembered it would be no big deal.

Answer

Im the biggest goody two shoes and have never even tried pot. Even so, if my husband told me he did this, I wouldnt blink an eye. You were 15 and it's not like you harmed someone or anything like that. I think your town sounds pretty nutty....suspended the rest of the year?? And everyone making a huge stink? Thats crazy. In my HS people smoked, had sex at school, one girl brought vodka in her water bottle...Im not condoning it but they didnt get suspended the rest of the year with a big stink, maybe your town people are super bored or something.

Answer

lol this is nothing. In 8th grade (2000-2001) my friend had a long term sub in one of his classes that everyone hated. This was before social media and before teachers had online presence and connection with students. We had AIM and MySpace. No smartphones. Many didn’t even have home computers. She would email her classes and their parents. Her email was something like JaneSmith@xyz.com and my friend made an email that looked similar (think JaneSmiith@xyz.com) and sent the class and parents an email that said ‘important homework assignment’ and attached some screen shots of porn. There was a school wide investigation to figure out who had done it. We were all pulled out of class and interviewed for information. The state police had to get involved to track the email. They ultimately tracked him down. He was suspended for the rest of the year and attended night school. We lived in a small town so everyone knew. I don’t believe there were any legal consequences. But truthfully no one cared or remembers it. People do shit as kids. And weed is legal in a lot of places. Tell him. It’s not as serious as you remember it.

Answer

Honestly, I really don't think you have to worry about him judging you over this. It was 15 years ago. It's not even bad. You only got suspended because it was school. You didn't even have a fully formed brain at the time. If he judges you for that, he's weird. It's not like it was a violent crime or something… you're not a bad person because of this. You're a good person who made a mistake as a kid. It happens to the best of us! ￼￼￼So many of us have made dumber mistakes than that. Something tells me your fiancé will still love you. ￼

Answer

I’m 40 and this happened when I was 17.. a senior is high school. I went out with a group of people. Some of them I was friends with, some I wasn’t but we got the cops called on us because people thought we were trespassing on their property at night. Mind you we were walking in the road that had no side walk and I’m the only one that got a ticket. The people thought I was their back yard but there’s no way I could jump a privacy fence being on 5 2. That’s what I said the cop. I had to go to court and got put on three months probation over something I didn’t do. So, everyone knew be as the chick who’s trepassing and got a ticket for it. Lucky it was right at the end of senior year so I wouldn’t see these people anymore. TIL my dying day I will always say I wasn’t in anyone’s backyard.

Answer

Tell your boyfriend, that's no big deal.
I had a woman stalk and harrass me for a few months. She had someone photograph me and after endless months of calls to myself, my mom, my church leaders, social media stalking, threats and getting the picture she had taken of me in a tex I got a restraining order. I didn't block her because the police wanted proof and I was terrified of her and wanted to know her moves.
When she was served the restraining order papers she went BALLISTIC  and blasted me all over social media giving ONLY her side of the story so people that didn't know me were saying unimaginable things. I have a creators account so I was getting insights that a bunch of people we're viewing my account. She also tried to get inside my car when she saw my son and I in public and when she couldn't, she basically attacked the car, punching it and kicking it.
People thought I would give my side of the story but if I've learned anything from Robert Greene's The 48 Laws of Power is not to kowtow to idiots and that ultimately letting your enemy make a fool of themselves while you remain silent is the best approach. I had a court order against her, it was completely unnecessary to engage and feed the fire for a bunch of strangers who just wanted drama.
Ultimately that's what happened because when people have asked her about that time she went nuclear online she claims that never happened, she doesn't remember and doesn't know what people are talking about.

Have you ever done something that was a town scandal?

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